As of 11am this morning, I am officially homeless. I gave up my apartment and put the last of my stuff in storage with the help of my boyfriend. And as of 230pm, this homeless 24-year old Filipina has no home, no job, no money -but blogging inside the Gail Borden Library.
If you are my friend and you're reading this, don't worry. It's not as bad as it sounds. My friend Maria offered for me to stay in her apartment with her sister and parents. And I am giving myself 30 days to move back out. Hopefully, with a decent paying job, and a decent living condition I can call "my place". And that includes everything in between: my bills, my legal problems, and my education.
If not for these people (my mom, my sister, my uncle and grandparents, my boyfriend, and my friend Maria) I wouldn't know where I'd be right now. Their patience and understanding and love for me keeps me going. At around 2am, I broke into tears, one of my handful of breakdowns. I cried myself to sleep because it broke my heart that I am at the lowest point of my life right now. I cried myself to sleep while my boyfriend's arms are wrapped around me comforting me and protecting me with the best that he can. "I want to sleep and never open my eyes again," was the only thought that ran through my mind before I fell asleep. But today, before my boyfriend said bye to go to his karate class, he told me, "Everything will be okay. Just trust and have faith in God. And don't forget to pray." It filled my with hope, and the longing that in a few weeks, it will all get better.
So now, here I am, the virgin gypsy, and I don't know what to do. But people that I know that care about me are surrounding me and right now, that's all I need.
We'll see what tomorrow brings me.
Jaja
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