One of my resolutions was to open up to the idea of meeting people with the potential to date. I can't say that I'm rusty at meeting people seeings as I've never really tried in the past. Let's just say I get borderline anxiety attacks from even the mere thought of talking to strangers. But that was then, and I'm trying to change for the NOW.
I have a situation. I don't know if it's good or bad. I just know that.. it is.
Let's start with boy number 1, Let's call him 4-N. I met recently met 4-N through a friend. I was attracted to 4-N right off the bat but I had to hold back because he was friend's ex from 8(?) years ago. I thought he is really REALLY smart, well-spoken (wait, is that even a word?), and don't even get me started with his accent. HOT DAMN.
We shall call boy number 2 Lo-cal. I met Lo-cal online. Lo-cal sounds very street smart, and his take on dating is somewhat traditional. He doesn't look too bad, and his height checks out with my standards.
Now, 4-N is not a hot commodity, which is something that has lately been catching my eye. He's low-key, he's down to earth, and from what I've learned, very insightful and traditional. I have sort of an issue against liking him because he dated my friend for at least a year.. 8something years ago. But get this, my friend told me that 4-N and I should start dating because it would be awesome, and that apparently he thinks I'm a lot of fun. I'm worried about dating a friend's ex, that's girl code right? But one of my close friends pointed out that since my friend actually promotes us going out and we "have her blessing", that it TOTALLY nullifies that specific girl code between me and her. Makes sense.
Lo-cal sounds like he'll treat a girl nice. But aside from the basic stuff that I know about him, I don't think there's much else to it. He's into cars, he doesn't smoke and he seems sweet. But when I'm talking to him, I don't feel anything. It's like he's just.. there.
Are you waiting for the cons?
Cons for 4-N: He lives almost 5000 miles away. I think I like him enough not to do anything about it because I might get disappointed.
Cons for Lo-cal: I don't feel anything when I'm talking to him. He can't spell for the life of him. The way he lives his life is not exciting enough for me.
At first, I was really trying to open up to the idea of Lo-cal but the mere fact that everytime we chat or whatever, he constantly misspells something. It bugs the hell out of me. I mean, is that superficial or what? Intelligence is a big thing for me. As much as I love talent (especially the triple threat: dance, sing, act.. in that order), I am really attracted to intelligence. I think it's sexy, it's VERY interesting, and I know that I will ALWAYS get a good conversation out of it. Should I really settle for convenience? Someone that will be there for me that's just around the corner? Figuratively speaking of course. I believe that one should always "go big, or go home" because really, what's the point of trying if you're not gonna give it your best shot right? And settling is really out of the question for me. I think that I deserve more than just settling for anything that's convenient.. that's right now.
I can't help it that I have standards.. very complicated, intricate standards. Is it my fault? Should I really lower my standards just so I can have the promise of temporary happiness? There's no guarantee it's going to last, but at least if it did, it's not gonna kill me inside in the long run knowing that I've passed by someone better because I settled. Right?
I probably hear from 4-N maybe once a week. Lo-cal says hey every morning. And recently, it's been annoying me for the fact that he not only says hey every frickin morning and tries to chat with me whenever it appears I'm online, he would always go through the motions of how's work, how was your day, what are you doing this weekend, what did you do this weekend, how was your thing with the thing that time.. blah, blah, frickin' blah. I'm like, "Uh, I think we're gonna have a problem." We're not even going out and I already feel pressured and obliged to answer your questions. Uhm, hello????
So yes, bottom line is.. I allowed myself to be turned off by Lo-cal's inability to spell and for trying to be interested in the things that I do, while I'm here waiting for 4-N to say something, do something.
Now I'm torn between my eternal self-battle of "Do I go for the one that I'm interested in, or the one that's interested in me."
Life sucks sometimes. The dating game sucks even more.
30 January 2011
28 January 2011
24/7/365
Lately, I've been having these feeling that 24 hours honestly is not enough in a day. Between work, online classes, my "online" social life, chores, errands, completing my 365s and resolutions, and spending time alone and with friends, I just am running out of time in a day! And I keep complaining I don't have a life. Jeez!
Last weekend alone I went shopping, went to 2 birthday dinners, watched a movie with a friend, went bowling, went grocery shopping, met up with a friend for a while, and watched the Bears-Packers game. One weekend!
This weekend, I'm working two days, going to a birthday party in St. Charles and then another one in Dekalb, and then our Sunday Family Dinner too. Sometimes, I think I have waaaay too many friends for my own good.. haha!! Don't get me wrong, I love all of them though. I'm just saying.
Which brings me to questions that have been brewing in my mind:
Sure I complain sometimes that I don't ever have enough things on my social calendar, but it's still more than what an average person has (I think).
I've come to terms that there are two types of singlehood. The pre-boyfriend single (never had a boyfriend) and the post-boyfriend single (obviously). I gotta say, I enjoyed my pre-boyfriend singlehood, but at that age there were more of us singletons. It wasn't hard to scroll down your contact list and message "wanna hang out?" to your girlfriends and guybuddies. Most everyone were up to being random and impromptu. But I'm post-boyfriend single at an age where most of my friends are dating or engaged or even married. The handful single friends I have are a drive and a fence away. Or in college. Or don't make enough money to spend it.
The thing that sucks about post-boyfriend singlehood is that I'm more aware than ever of couples, things couple do/can do, places couples go to/can go to, holidays, birthdays, and every other couple-y things.
I get comments like "Don't ever get married!" or "Don't ever have kids!!" or "If I was single like you, I'd be having lots of fun and meeting guys (another topic) and go places!!".
"I wish I was single." BAH.
So now I'm stuck in a rut. [refer to questions above]
But while I'm torn and don't know what to do, I'm having fun my way. :D
Last weekend alone I went shopping, went to 2 birthday dinners, watched a movie with a friend, went bowling, went grocery shopping, met up with a friend for a while, and watched the Bears-Packers game. One weekend!
This weekend, I'm working two days, going to a birthday party in St. Charles and then another one in Dekalb, and then our Sunday Family Dinner too. Sometimes, I think I have waaaay too many friends for my own good.. haha!! Don't get me wrong, I love all of them though. I'm just saying.
Which brings me to questions that have been brewing in my mind:
- If I had been going out with someone these past year or so, would I have been able to do all these stuff?
- Would I exchange this "single life" to be in a relationship? (granted that my life is not high and social, but still)
- Will I still be able to do this if I end up being with someone?
Sure I complain sometimes that I don't ever have enough things on my social calendar, but it's still more than what an average person has (I think).
I've come to terms that there are two types of singlehood. The pre-boyfriend single (never had a boyfriend) and the post-boyfriend single (obviously). I gotta say, I enjoyed my pre-boyfriend singlehood, but at that age there were more of us singletons. It wasn't hard to scroll down your contact list and message "wanna hang out?" to your girlfriends and guybuddies. Most everyone were up to being random and impromptu. But I'm post-boyfriend single at an age where most of my friends are dating or engaged or even married. The handful single friends I have are a drive and a fence away. Or in college. Or don't make enough money to spend it.
The thing that sucks about post-boyfriend singlehood is that I'm more aware than ever of couples, things couple do/can do, places couples go to/can go to, holidays, birthdays, and every other couple-y things.
I get comments like "Don't ever get married!" or "Don't ever have kids!!" or "If I was single like you, I'd be having lots of fun and meeting guys (another topic) and go places!!".
"I wish I was single." BAH.
So now I'm stuck in a rut. [refer to questions above]
But while I'm torn and don't know what to do, I'm having fun my way. :D
05 January 2011
Car Troubles Be Gone.
Two nights ago, my car battery died on me on three different times: before work, after work, when I got to my friend's house. After that third time, my friend's husband checked my car. They let me crash at their house and the next day, my friend and I woke up early to buy new car batteries.. and lo and behold, oil. (Apparently, the dipstick showed no oil at all.. and no, I'm not calling the car any names.)
Here's what I learned that night:
Here's what I learned that night:
- I found out that if your car's dead and and you have to push it somewhere, there's a lock you have to disengage so you can change the lever to neutral.
- I learned how to change my own oil.
- I learned how to take out and replace my own car batteries.
- I learned the basic parts of a car engine.
- I [re]learned that you can't take the keys out of your ignition once you turn it off if the car is still in neutral.
03 January 2011
The Family That Eats Together..
Every Sunday, as far back as I can remember (and by that I mean it started summer of '09) my friends and I have been getting together at Dee's and Owen's house for dinner. Our barkada (tagalog word that means a group of close friends, and similarly like the tv show Friends; relationship) gets together and shares what we call Sunday Family Dinner. We crowd around Dee's breakfast table (there's seven of us) and tell stories about our crazy weeks, shares jokes and funny anecdotes, vents and rants about our bad days over homecooked meal.
We've gone from all seven of us to sometimes just three, or just whoever can make it. I can honestly say that I've never missed a dinner night.. and we've only had to cancel maybe one or two times. We've had taco night, fajita night, soul food night, korean barbeque-style, grills, etc. etc. We've shared Thanksgiving meals and Easter dinners, birthday dinners, breakup dinners, come what may. There were days when the boys would be working out while the girls make dinner, our boys come home to home cooked meals and we'd wait until everyone's there before we grab our plates and attack.
There's the occasional eat-out nights (from sundays to any days of the week) at teppan places, sushi places, buffets, chinese restaurants, tapas, etc. But Sunday Family Dinners are always the best. There'd be desserts sometimes, we'd play cards after we've cleared the tables, or watch a movie while laying down or sitting comfortably, digesting our heavy meals. When no one has anything important going on the next day, we'd even have the occasional social drinking hour after dinner.. and by that I mean jello shots, sake bombs, car bombs, scooby schapps, and whatever else our resident bartender can cook up with the liquor stash that we have.
There'd be the occasional drama and conflicts and fights. But I gotta say, I'm the happiest when all seven of us are gathered around the table.. with our stories and rants and raves and jokes.
I really cherish Sunday Family Dinners. Seven people, seven lives. But during Sundays, I feel like I'm part of a family. I love you guys!!
We've gone from all seven of us to sometimes just three, or just whoever can make it. I can honestly say that I've never missed a dinner night.. and we've only had to cancel maybe one or two times. We've had taco night, fajita night, soul food night, korean barbeque-style, grills, etc. etc. We've shared Thanksgiving meals and Easter dinners, birthday dinners, breakup dinners, come what may. There were days when the boys would be working out while the girls make dinner, our boys come home to home cooked meals and we'd wait until everyone's there before we grab our plates and attack.
There's the occasional eat-out nights (from sundays to any days of the week) at teppan places, sushi places, buffets, chinese restaurants, tapas, etc. But Sunday Family Dinners are always the best. There'd be desserts sometimes, we'd play cards after we've cleared the tables, or watch a movie while laying down or sitting comfortably, digesting our heavy meals. When no one has anything important going on the next day, we'd even have the occasional social drinking hour after dinner.. and by that I mean jello shots, sake bombs, car bombs, scooby schapps, and whatever else our resident bartender can cook up with the liquor stash that we have.
There'd be the occasional drama and conflicts and fights. But I gotta say, I'm the happiest when all seven of us are gathered around the table.. with our stories and rants and raves and jokes.
I really cherish Sunday Family Dinners. Seven people, seven lives. But during Sundays, I feel like I'm part of a family. I love you guys!!
02 January 2011
Learning The Game
I don't know how to play the game. The dating game, that is. Even though I've been out of a three year relationship for more than a year now, I can honestly say I didn't go on dates with that guy. So technically, I've never gone on a date. EVER. Nor would I ever know how to. Kind of embarrassing to admit, coming from a 25 (almost 26) year old. I'm a late bloomer in this field actually. My last relationship was was first relationship. And going out on the dating world at this age, scares the hell out of me. When everyone knows the unspoken rules of love, lust, and dating. I am but a two year old learning how to put puzzles together.
Trying is almost out of the question. I suffer from word vomit when I'm around the opposite sex, I ate eye contacts for long periods of time (I get really self-conscious), and my nerves are just about ready to explode on just about any flirting situation. Oh, and may I just add one teeny tiny thing: I don't know how to flirt.
I have a handful of really good friends who met their significant others online. One lasted fore a couple of years, one lasted for a couple of months. And one is currently in progress. Two met on an online dating site and one in a chatroom. I have always thought that online dating/matchmaking is for a population that cannot otherwise find a significant other in the real world and is a sign of desperation. But now that I look back, people in my age group are too busy building roots for their own future, stability and security for their future significant others or themselves, that there is simply no time to scout each and every single-populated location. Online dating is a " fast, get in, get out" kind of way. People who sign up are obviously interested in a relationship, long term or otherwise. No need to test the waters and see if the other person is interested, so much like situations in parties and clubs, etc. No beating around the bush, no BS.
I have a friend who's been going out with his boyfriend for more than almost three years now. They met at a club. I've always thought that people who go out and meet people in clubs and bars are just out there to have a good time, and I've never been a good time kind of girl. Because of my traditional (prude-ish) upbringing, I don't ever have the good-time guy mentality. I always think that somebody is a potential.
I read a book when I was 18, entitled "I Kissed Dating Goodbye" by Josh something. He talked about how dating purely for the "right now" aspect of it is a waste of time when that time can be spent doing more important stuff like preparing for your future or serving God (ironically enough, last I heard, I think this Josh person because an actual server of God). And honesty, as hard as I try, I can't get that idea out of my head. It makes sense, but at the same time, it stops me from living as a young adult and having fun. But I guess, there are other ways that I can have fun right?
As far back as I can remember, I've had people tell me on numerous occasions that so-and-so liked (yes, past tense) me. And whenever I ask them how come I never heard about it or he didn't say anything, the answer is always (no fail) "..because you're pretty intimidating." Ouch?
I don't even know how I give off the intimidating vibe. I get EXTREMELY shy, I get the "I'm too plainjane" mood sometimes. But intimidating? ..well, I guess MAYBE it's because I wait for the other person to talk to me first.. because I'm SHY. But then again, maybe my go-to attitude is snarky sometimes.
It's the new year and I'd really like to learn and get my foot in the dating door. I don't plan on being a serial dater, I just want to learn the ropes in the hopes that maybe when I come across a guy that's worthy of my dorky ways, I know what to do and what NOT to do.
Trying is almost out of the question. I suffer from word vomit when I'm around the opposite sex, I ate eye contacts for long periods of time (I get really self-conscious), and my nerves are just about ready to explode on just about any flirting situation. Oh, and may I just add one teeny tiny thing: I don't know how to flirt.
I have a handful of really good friends who met their significant others online. One lasted fore a couple of years, one lasted for a couple of months. And one is currently in progress. Two met on an online dating site and one in a chatroom. I have always thought that online dating/matchmaking is for a population that cannot otherwise find a significant other in the real world and is a sign of desperation. But now that I look back, people in my age group are too busy building roots for their own future, stability and security for their future significant others or themselves, that there is simply no time to scout each and every single-populated location. Online dating is a " fast, get in, get out" kind of way. People who sign up are obviously interested in a relationship, long term or otherwise. No need to test the waters and see if the other person is interested, so much like situations in parties and clubs, etc. No beating around the bush, no BS.
I have a friend who's been going out with his boyfriend for more than almost three years now. They met at a club. I've always thought that people who go out and meet people in clubs and bars are just out there to have a good time, and I've never been a good time kind of girl. Because of my traditional (prude-ish) upbringing, I don't ever have the good-time guy mentality. I always think that somebody is a potential.
I read a book when I was 18, entitled "I Kissed Dating Goodbye" by Josh something. He talked about how dating purely for the "right now" aspect of it is a waste of time when that time can be spent doing more important stuff like preparing for your future or serving God (ironically enough, last I heard, I think this Josh person because an actual server of God). And honesty, as hard as I try, I can't get that idea out of my head. It makes sense, but at the same time, it stops me from living as a young adult and having fun. But I guess, there are other ways that I can have fun right?
As far back as I can remember, I've had people tell me on numerous occasions that so-and-so liked (yes, past tense) me. And whenever I ask them how come I never heard about it or he didn't say anything, the answer is always (no fail) "..because you're pretty intimidating." Ouch?
I don't even know how I give off the intimidating vibe. I get EXTREMELY shy, I get the "I'm too plainjane" mood sometimes. But intimidating? ..well, I guess MAYBE it's because I wait for the other person to talk to me first.. because I'm SHY. But then again, maybe my go-to attitude is snarky sometimes.
It's the new year and I'd really like to learn and get my foot in the dating door. I don't plan on being a serial dater, I just want to learn the ropes in the hopes that maybe when I come across a guy that's worthy of my dorky ways, I know what to do and what NOT to do.
01 January 2011
Here's To Surviving The New Year.
I'm sure everyone's scrambling around trying to make a list or accomplish their New Year's Resolution. The gym's probably going to be packed, or the membership sales are going to skyrocket in the next week or two. The streets will be filled by gasping-for-breath amateur runners with their newly purchased running gear. Of if you're me, you started a crazy online project/resolution that will most likely feel like a job after a few months.. maybe even two weeks.
But whatever you guys are doing today, be it sleeping the day away, catching up on your life, or starting new ones.. have a safe and happy first day of the rest of the year!!
"..we only have one life to live, let's roll the dice."
But whatever you guys are doing today, be it sleeping the day away, catching up on your life, or starting new ones.. have a safe and happy first day of the rest of the year!!
"..we only have one life to live, let's roll the dice."
1st Blog of 2011
I really want to be a serious blogger, but as always, I have all these ideas running all over the place. Let's see if I can manage to organize it right now.
itsmy365.tumblr.com
..365 photos of my daily life
..365 movies to watch
..365 letters
thenameisjaja.tumblr.com
..all the stuff that interests me and catches my eye
mymarriedfriends.tumblr.com
..all the noteworthy arguments/conversations my married friends have
lightscamerawrite.tumblr.com
..a creative writing outlet for me
iamjajadevicais.blogspot.com
..a serious blog i would want to maintain (of my comments, suggestions, and violent reactions.. etc.)
..will include my 1 book a week project
jajacooks.blogspot.com
..will try to learn one dish a month (that's 12 for 2011!)
Follow me on Twitter: iamjajadevicais
I also have Blogtv/AIM/Skype/Oovoo (message me)
I think that that's all for now.. my eye is itchy. I hope that I can keep up with this.. and I hope you guys can help me! Oh, and I hope everyone had an awesome start to the new year.. God bless y'all!
xoxo, jd
itsmy365.tumblr.com
..365 photos of my daily life
..365 movies to watch
..365 letters
thenameisjaja.tumblr.com
..all the stuff that interests me and catches my eye
mymarriedfriends.tumblr.com
..all the noteworthy arguments/conversations my married friends have
lightscamerawrite.tumblr.com
..a creative writing outlet for me
iamjajadevicais.blogspot.com
..a serious blog i would want to maintain (of my comments, suggestions, and violent reactions.. etc.)
..will include my 1 book a week project
jajacooks.blogspot.com
..will try to learn one dish a month (that's 12 for 2011!)
Follow me on Twitter: iamjajadevicais
I also have Blogtv/AIM/Skype/Oovoo (message me)
I think that that's all for now.. my eye is itchy. I hope that I can keep up with this.. and I hope you guys can help me! Oh, and I hope everyone had an awesome start to the new year.. God bless y'all!
xoxo, jd
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