In A Nutshell

Two things happen can happen when I get extremely overwhelmed (in general): I become super-productive to de-stress.. or in my mind, I'm curled up in a fetal position tuning the world out. With that in mind, I haven't updated on any of my online stuff. So in a nutshell, here's what happened/what I've been thinking.. etc.

• There was that one day (last Tuesday) where I was off from work and I was stuck at home all day that I think I flatlilned to boredom. I was so bored, I didn't even bust out with my knitting/sewing/beading/reading/editing. I just watched episodes of That 70's Show all day, and read pages and pages of Lamebook in between (as of late, I'm on pg137).
• On Wednesday, same boring shiznits happened except late in the afternoon, my roommate asked me if I wanted to do errands at Walmart with her. It's very sad to say that that was the highlight of my two-day break from work.
• Thursday, my roommate KC and I went to Old Navy for some much needed shopping. Actually, she can go shopping 'coz she's now a ballin' LNP while I probably could have done WITHOUT that $45 shopping trip. I told myself I'm punishing myself until I get me a car. Two tops and a cardigan later, guilt is sitting at the pit of my stomach. Mind you, that feeling continued until I came home from work  late that night.
• I guess it didn't help that we Just Had To Go Back to Old Navy to buy the canvas peacoat I didn't get the day before I didn't have enough money. Since I bough something the day before, there was a survey participation thing going on that gives you 10% when you go back to the store. So this peacoat was originally $44.95 dollars, but was on sale for $19.99 PLUS an additional 30% off for all clearance items.. PLUS PLUS my 10% discount for doing the survey.. $13 baby. SUPERSCORE.

My $13 Super Score from Old Navy

•  I finally FINALLY had a Jurin-style birthday!! My friends and I absolutely love going to Jurin. Our teppan/sushi place of choice used to be House of Tokyo/Mr. Samurai in St. Charles.. but we crossed over, haha! Everytime there's a birthday at my friend Dee's family (or any of our friends really) we ALWAYS go to Jurin now. And since my birthday plans didn't include Jurin, I was kinda sad. But KC was kraving (<-haha, see what I did there? :] , we all went. I have a happy tummy, I got the staff to sing for me, I got my Jurin picture AND a free dinner for my birthday next year. Hells yay!!
• I looked pretty cute at work Saturday. Haha, just saying. We're not really supposed to wear jeans at work but sometimes I wear jeans on Saturdays since I'm the only one in the office. But anyway, I was wearing my $7 pair of brown riding boots from Walmart (again, another superscore, as it was originally $30 I think). I got complimented too! One of the sales guys were like, "That's an awesome pair of boots!" I go, "Thankyousevendollarsatwalmart!!" Hahaha.
• After sitting at my desk for nine hours, Dee and I went to go see her a musical at Marmion Academy (hello expensive catholic privates school for boys!) where her niece has a small role in. Can I just say that sitting for another three hours to watch a play (musical?) that I have no clue about REALLY tested my attention span. Halfway through the first act, I told Dee to google the plot so we can understand the twist already. She ended up following along while reading it, haha. I guess, it's about racism and sexism right?? 'Coz the nurse didn't wanna marry that Emile guy because he got with it with a Polynesian woman and had two kids, and this guy Cable (Gable?) couldn't marry this girl because she was a different race (was she supposed to be black?) and he ended up dying and without getting the girl too. *SHRUG* Oh, and according to what I saw, nurses where pretty little sluts back then (with their annoying giggling and strutting their stuff and whatnot).
• Now I'm just chilling at Dee's house because I slept over because she was too tired to drive me back to my apartment. 

My crappy writing got even crappier at the end there. That's 'coz I'm hungry now.

Whoa There, Bad Dream

So I woke up around 7am this morning because of a really bad dream. (For a detailed account, check my other blog here.) So what do I do after I've blogged it all out? I try and interpret it.

    According to Dream Moods,

    To dream that you are at somebody else's funeral, signifies that you are burying an old relationship and closing the lid on the past. You may be letting go some of the feelings (resentment, anger, hostility toward someone) that you have been clinging onto. If your are dreaming that you are at a funeral of an unknown person, then it suggests that something in your life needs to put to rest or put aside so that you can make room for something new. You need to investigate further what aspect or component of your life you need to let go.

    To dream that you are crying, signifies a release of negative emotions that is more likely caused by some waking situation rather than the events of the dream itself. Your dream is a way to regain some emotional balance and to safely let out your fears and frustrations. In your daily lives, you tend to ignore, deny, or repress your feelings. But in your dream state, your defense mechanisms are no longer on guard and thus allow for the release of those feelings that you have repressed during the day. 

    To dream that you are in tears, signify that you are undergoing a period of healing in your life. The tears symbolize compassion, emotional healing and spiritual cleansing. Alternatively, tears indicate pain

    To see a body in a coffin in your dream, signifies that you are going through a period of depression. You may feel confined, restricted and that you are lacking personal freedom. There may be a dead or decaying situation or issue in your life that you need to address. It is time to end this situation or relationship.

    To dream that you are inside a church, suggests that you are seeking for spiritual enlightenment and guidance. You are looking to be uplifted in some way. Perhaps you have made some past mistakes which have set you back on your path toward your goals. With proper support, you will get on the right track again. Alternatively, the dream may also mean that you are questioning and debating your life path and where it is leading. You are reevaluating what you want to do.

    To see others fighting in your dream, suggests that you are unwilling to acknowledge your own problems and turmoil. You are not taking any responsibility or initiative in trying to resolve issues in your waking life.

    To see a shattered and broken window in your dream, represents your distorted view and outlook on life. It is also indicates a state of vulnerability.

    To see or sit on a pew in your dream, suggests that you need to stop and reflect on your past mistakes or issues before you can move forward. You need to question the decisions and choices that you are making. Perhaps it is time to acknowledge your former wrongdoings

    To see friends in your dream, signify aspects of your personality that you have rejected, but are ready to incorporate and acknowledge. The relationships you have with those around you are important in learning about yourself. Alternatively, dreaming of a friend, indicates positive news

    So there it is. I just listed down some of the things I remembered from my dream and tried to interpret it. Basically, it's telling me that I'm ready to move on from my past, I'm ready to close that chapter behind me, that I shouldn't hold back my feelings or pretend it's not there. Pretty much.

Bad Dream.

    It's 713am and I woke up with my heart still pounding. I just had a really bad dream, and I don't know how to make of it.

    Basically in my dream, there's Dioni (my good friend from high school that I used to have a crush on) and in my dream we're really good friends (high school history and all) and he's dating this girl (it's actually She Who Must Not Be Named, aka the ex's current squeeze). The setting was all familiar: apartment, surroundings, etc., only back home in the Philippines and I'm surrounded by all my other high school friends.

    Anyway, in my dream, I guess Dioni was on his way with another friend Roy and they were gonna go to the house of the girl Dioni was dating. They were inside his car, parked and about to drive away when two ladies came up to his side of the window and started pounding on his window. Dioni rolled the windows down an inch to yell at them to stop. One girl suddenly produced a baseball bat and started smashing all of the windows in Dioni's car. He got out of the car and he started fighting the girls, and blah blah blah, something bad happened.

    I was in my apartment with a bunch of other girls hanging out when Roy, barged into the living room with the bad news. I was crying my heart out and was hysterical and all that. I was yelling at him why he didn't help, or why they were out so late and he was driving and they were parked in a shady part of town.

    Cut to the next scene. I was in my bedroom which is actually the master's bedroom in the apartment, and I was crying and I was on the phone with my friend Iciang when She Who Must  Not Be Named entered the room.

ME: What are you doing here?
HER:I just found out the news right now. (But she wasn't crying)
ME: Well, if it's any consolation, I know EXACTLY what you're feeling right now. (Sarcastic coz she didn't looked like she cried at all)
HER: How come everyone told you and not me?

    Cut to the next scene, the funeral at a church. For some reason, She Who Must Not Be Named and I went to the funeral together and since we were late, everyone kind of turned around on their seats to look at us. Hello awkward turtle.

    There was a musician playing some funeral-y music in the middle of the aisle and the casket was opened but it was facing the front of the church meaning you'd actually have to go around it if you wanted to look inside. I didn't want to walk up to the casket but everyone was not-so-subtly whispering that I should go look. Oh, and She Who Must Not Be Named just eventually took a seat somewhere seeing as nobody was paying attention to her (coz no one knew her and for whatever reason, the only people who attended that funeral were all my high school friends).

    Eventually, I walked up to the casket and when I was halfway around it, Dioni was placed in a really weird and awkward position. Pretend you're arms and legs are wrapped around the trunk of a tree so you don't slide down.. yeah, that's what he looked like. As soon as I saw that, I turned and walked away (because I thought it was really weird) but not before I saw in the corner of my eye that he moved, sat up, and started wiggling his body parts.

    Around maybe 90% of the people in that church got up and started walking towards the exit, like nothing happened. A handful started gasping, crying, screaming, whatever. SWMNBN started sobbing quietly at one end of the pews. I heard some of the people walking out say stuff like "Finally, we can leave" or "About time" or whatever. My friend Iciang came up to me and started talking to me. "Ja, why are you still crying? Didn't you get one of the cards he sent out? This is all a test. I thought you were just playing along." And at that point, I looked up and saw Dioni barraging towards me saying things like, "Ja! Why are you still crying? I'm back! I'm not really dead! It's a social experiment I had to do for school. Don't cry now, I'm still here. Don't be mad, diba nag-iisa lang ako sa buhay mo? Andito na 'ko, wag ka na umiyak o sige na..!" (aren't I the only one in your life? I'm here, please don't cry anymore..!"

    At this point, I saw SWMNBN look up from what Dioni said and she turned around and ran away.

    ...and then I woke up. And my heart was pounding.

(For a detailed interpretation of my dream, check out my other blog here.)

Just Dance

So this is really frustrating. Lately, I've bombarded my life with anything dance. I've been obsessing with choreography videos by Kyle Hanagami, my friend updating her Twitter with her dance adventures, and movies about dance.
    When I was 7, my grandma insisted on signing me up for ballet classes but I wouldn't go for it because I wanted karate lessons. Ballet = Girls. Karate = Boys. So I ended up signed up for neither. Years later, here I am looking at dance classes at local dance academies or park districts around my area. I don't want competitive dancing. I just want to learn how to dance. I want to learn how tap, belly dancing (even though I'm sure I can't force my body to move like that), jazz, ballroom, and of course hiphop. Heck, I'll even give ballet a shot.. or Zumba. I just want to move my feet and dance.
    I'm a clubhead and sometimes I get frustrated because I really wish I can get clubbing out of my system. But I really love going out and dancing the night away. Granted, I would never bootydance with someone that's not my boyfriend, but still. I can't sing to save my soul, I can't model (which I really wanted to back in highschool), I can't act, I can't even play an instrument. But I know that I can follow rhythm. I'm not flexible, I can't do the splits or cartwheels but I swear with every dance bone in my body, I can dance.
    This obsession with wanting to learn how to dance increased after I had a Step Up movie marathon with my roommates a few weeks ago. So much so that "Good Dancer" has now been added to my ever-growing list of Guy Standards.
    Is that bad?

The truest expression of a people is in its dance and in its music.  Bodies never lie.  ~Agnes de Mille

     I need to do something significant. I'm going to dance. Hmmmm, where should I go?

April Fools Indeed

Ok, so I totally get it. Today is the day when you don't believe what ANYONE has to say. Today, everyone's either going to be a parent, getting married, getting engaged, quitting their jobs, moving somewhere far, got injured, died, got sick.. whatever, anything.
    With that point in mind, what did I see when I opened my inbox today? An OKCupid suggestion. Wait, let me backtrack..

    A few months back, I had this blog about online dating and how it's a more acceptable form of meeting people the older you get. I know of a handful of people who are with their significant others they've met through online dating websites. So, to experiment on that and see what results it gives me, I signed up for a free account at OKCupid.com.
    Here and there, they would email me notifications telling me they found new matches for me. Today, when I opened my account this is what I found:

    Not only do I KNOW this person PERSONALLY, I hate his guts too!! I mean granted, we're civil around each other, but I really dislike this person. He did something a while back that got some of my friends in trouble and he got away unscathed. After that, I just stopped being his friend.
    I laughed when I saw this because it's hilarious and NOT hilarious at the same time. I checked his profile and it said that we are 88% compatible. Yeah, okay. I immediately deleted my account before HE receives a notification saying I'M compatible for him.
    Which brings me to this mindset: Are my options really running low? I've tried online dating so that I can meet someone outside of my comfort zone and I was RECOMMENDED the one person whose guts I hate? I'm 26 years old and I've only had one boyfriend. Am I really gonna end up single? To tell the truth, marriage is in my life plan okay? But I've been single for a year and a half now. And in that span of time, I've never dated, hooked up, or even MET someone.
    I guess what this life is telling me is that.. The Joke Is On Me.