Uh.
I kinda miss him.
Like, a lot.
18 April 2010
13 April 2010
(Not So Much) Sex And The Suburbs.
Lyra decided to treat the girls for some birthday mani-pedis yesterday. So off we went. And by "we" I mean Lyra, Dee, KC, and yours truly. We drove to Schaumburg so we can just have it done at Woodfield Mall coz Lyra had to have her iPhone fixed. And then we walked around with our new toes and nails.
It was nice to have a girl's day. Or night. We didn't do anything "paint the town red" kind of thing. But I had fun. I think mostly because of two things: 1.) it distracted me from thinking a lot and 2.) I don't really have girlfriends, and this is the closest thing I've done that girlfriendy. I liked it. It was nice. Would've been nicer if I had more money than $15. Haha.
But anyway, it did distract me. So that was all worth it.
Mani-Pedis per person? $34 plus tips.
The Perfect Distraction? Priceless.
Finding Another Reason to Smile? More Than Priceless.
It was nice to have a girl's day. Or night. We didn't do anything "paint the town red" kind of thing. But I had fun. I think mostly because of two things: 1.) it distracted me from thinking a lot and 2.) I don't really have girlfriends, and this is the closest thing I've done that girlfriendy. I liked it. It was nice. Would've been nicer if I had more money than $15. Haha.
But anyway, it did distract me. So that was all worth it.
Mani-Pedis per person? $34 plus tips.
The Perfect Distraction? Priceless.
Finding Another Reason to Smile? More Than Priceless.
11 April 2010
Bad Trip.
Funny how at the mention of your name, it can ruin a mood. My mood. But I have now learned how to get over that. Get over you. Get over the fact that I was denied of my happiness. Because of you.
Oh yeah, by the way, to my wolfpack: Screw you. (bahaha!) Invite all the skinny beeotches to work out with you.. but not your friends that feed you dinner every fudgin' weekend.
"What ultimately defines a relationship is another relationship." -Carrie BradshawI will not be denied of my happiness again. I will not be denied of my friends. I will not be denied places to go, people to see, and stuff to do.
Oh yeah, by the way, to my wolfpack: Screw you. (bahaha!) Invite all the skinny beeotches to work out with you.. but not your friends that feed you dinner every fudgin' weekend.
10 April 2010
Down At The Senior Center
So I did my secret service at the Senior Services today. I'd go into detail but I'm so tired. I got home an hour ago from 9something hours of being out doing errands, doing lunch, texting and messaging people, driving around everywhere.
To sum it up:
This old guy was in line to go get his bingo cards up front. He motioned for me to come over because he had to tell me something.
Not only did this conversation with Jack made me feel warm and fuzzy inside, but it totally made my day. No wait, my week. No wait. It made up for all the bad things that has ever happened to me. Well, not all exactly. But you know what I mean.
Anyway, the more that I spend my time doing secret service down there, the more that I fall in love with old people. They are just the sweetest, sincerest, most real people ever! Granted, some of them can be crabby. But they are just being themselves, they are being real, and not to mention the stories that they have lived to tell is just amazing as well! Hence, the word real and sincere.
I'm pooped. Lemme try and get some sleep.
To sum it up:
This old guy was in line to go get his bingo cards up front. He motioned for me to come over because he had to tell me something.
"I was blind for twelve years, and I've been in therapy for the last five years because I sarted seeing with my left eye again (but just a small portion of his vision.) When I did, I made it a point to really appreciate all the things that I see. And to let all the pretty women that I see know how pretty they are. You're a very pretty young woman. Especially when you smile at old folks like me."
Not only did this conversation with Jack made me feel warm and fuzzy inside, but it totally made my day. No wait, my week. No wait. It made up for all the bad things that has ever happened to me. Well, not all exactly. But you know what I mean.
Anyway, the more that I spend my time doing secret service down there, the more that I fall in love with old people. They are just the sweetest, sincerest, most real people ever! Granted, some of them can be crabby. But they are just being themselves, they are being real, and not to mention the stories that they have lived to tell is just amazing as well! Hence, the word real and sincere.
I'm pooped. Lemme try and get some sleep.
08 April 2010
Too Much.
-huh-
I think I've been blogging too much lately. I wonder why.
ENUMERATION TIME!!
a.) I have nothing else to do?
b.) I have a lot of stories to tell but no one would listen?
c.) I have a lot on my mind but there's no right person, place, time to unload?
d.) It's the perfect distraction so that instead of thinking more, I'm "rethinking" what I already have and processing them.. and then unloading them?
e.) I fidget a lot, so I have to do something with my hands but they have to be of worthwhile activity?
f.) I want to remember everything that's going on with me, right now?
Hmmmm.. Maybe it's all of the above.
Besides, I got to vent. I'm getting anxious again.
I miss the filled spaces between my fingers.
..and I'm just counting the days until I can breathe normally again.
I think I've been blogging too much lately. I wonder why.
ENUMERATION TIME!!
a.) I have nothing else to do?
b.) I have a lot of stories to tell but no one would listen?
c.) I have a lot on my mind but there's no right person, place, time to unload?
d.) It's the perfect distraction so that instead of thinking more, I'm "rethinking" what I already have and processing them.. and then unloading them?
e.) I fidget a lot, so I have to do something with my hands but they have to be of worthwhile activity?
f.) I want to remember everything that's going on with me, right now?
Hmmmm.. Maybe it's all of the above.
Besides, I got to vent. I'm getting anxious again.
I miss the filled spaces between my fingers.
..and I'm just counting the days until I can breathe normally again.
♥ j'adore ♥
07 April 2010
Hilarious.
I found something out that I think is VERY hilarious. Well, it's really not. It's annoying, really. But hilarious nonetheless.
**WUHPOOSH**
That's the sound of hardcore whipping.
I can't get into detail right now because I'm letting it unfold in front of me. But when it's done.
**WUHPOOSH**
Did I mention that's the sound of hardcore whipping.
**WUHPOOSH**
That's the sound of hardcore whipping.
I can't get into detail right now because I'm letting it unfold in front of me. But when it's done.
**WUHPOOSH**
Did I mention that's the sound of hardcore whipping.
Got To Unload The Overload.
Secret Service was fun as usual. I'm such a dork. I'm starting to love old people thisMUCH! And the people I do secretservice with is turning out to be hella cool too! I love preparing and serving the meals to the seniors. *sigh*.
Went to see Steve for lunch. I'm still not sure if it ended well or not. I mean, I got my birthday smoothie. But I would give five million strawberry smoothies from Panera for an hour of laughter and fun hanging out with Steve at Pratt's Wayne Woods. I was holding back my tears. Like I told Danny, I don't want to stop being friends with Steve. I ended up staying in my car at the parking lot nursing my teeny little tears.
Had to clean the mess from the red Corolla. I hope it turns out okay.
Thanks, Steve, for standing up for me. =)
That's it for now.
Ignorance Is Indeed Bliss.
Sometimes, I really just wanna kick myself in the head. I'm such a dum-dum. I have a self-destruct button and -huh- I can tell you right now that I know quite well how to use it. First things first.
I have a super-fun time over the weekend. Saturday was a blast because of Caleb's birthday egg hunt party. And at night, the whole barkada had a blast with karaoke. As always. I was even surprised Danny showed up. But he did, so yay! Haha. And of course, Roger and Danny were all "..reunited and it feels so good!" Haha. I love the barkada. We know how our flow is. Even though Danny has been quite MIA lately, when he shows up, it's like no time has passed. That is why I love them so much. They are like my family here. And I am so thankful for them.
Funny story, I was singing this song in karaoke, it's a Filipino swing song and I think the title is called "Awitin Mo, at Isasayaw Ko." I Think. That's what the song is called. Anyhoo, so there was a really long intrumental in the middle and then Danny came out of the basement door so I was like "Dance!" and so we started doing the swing. And so he was just twirling and spinning and leading, and I was doing an awesome job taking his lead too. *sigh* It's amazing how we're still in tuned. Haha. I just know him so well, and him me. Anyhoo, the words started again so we kept dancing but I also continued singing on the microphone. But there was too many things going on (like nanay and KC making chismis about me and Danny, haha..!) that two things happened.
I have a super-fun time over the weekend. Saturday was a blast because of Caleb's birthday egg hunt party. And at night, the whole barkada had a blast with karaoke. As always. I was even surprised Danny showed up. But he did, so yay! Haha. And of course, Roger and Danny were all "..reunited and it feels so good!" Haha. I love the barkada. We know how our flow is. Even though Danny has been quite MIA lately, when he shows up, it's like no time has passed. That is why I love them so much. They are like my family here. And I am so thankful for them.
Funny story, I was singing this song in karaoke, it's a Filipino swing song and I think the title is called "Awitin Mo, at Isasayaw Ko." I Think. That's what the song is called. Anyhoo, so there was a really long intrumental in the middle and then Danny came out of the basement door so I was like "Dance!" and so we started doing the swing. And so he was just twirling and spinning and leading, and I was doing an awesome job taking his lead too. *sigh* It's amazing how we're still in tuned. Haha. I just know him so well, and him me. Anyhoo, the words started again so we kept dancing but I also continued singing on the microphone. But there was too many things going on (like nanay and KC making chismis about me and Danny, haha..!) that two things happened.
- I hit my two front teeth on the microphone.
- I got carried away with him spinning me and stuff that I thought he was about to dip me but it wasn't the time yet so I ended up dipping myself. And it was pretty cool too though.. Coz it was very a la Matrix and you see me dipped with my one hand up that he was holding (otherwise I would have landed on the floor.)
And then there was Sunday. Easter feast at home!! We had pork chops, rib tips, corn, jello syringes, rice (of course), and my beef in black bean sauce, ooh and Thai iced tea too. Hehe. As Diana had said, we haven't had something like this in a while. Our normal family day Sunday. The wolkpack works out, the wolfpackettes (?!) make dinner for their men (haha) and everyone comes home all sweaty and whatnot, haha! And we all sit down for dinner, no cellphones allowed because it's family time. That's the number one rule. Well, Danny was late so we started without him. He has a valid reason though. Maria was having a sweets party and we were both invited. Only I went there before making dinner, and Danny went there after work out.
Another funny story. Ku Cortz told me that when they drove to Danny's house, they saw the girl's car parked somewhere out on the street. And Ku Cortz was all like, "Ooh! Did Jaja get her car back already?! WAIT. What is Jaja's car doing in Danny's house? Why is Jaja here!?" And then they all realized it was hers. Haha. It was kinda funny but not really. Just. Can't. Escape. Me. Huh.
Anyhoo. So after dinner, we were just hanging out. I was on the computer (as usual). And then I had to make rice for Danny coz the Vidads killed it. And I'm like, "Wait, you haven't said hi to me yet and already I have to make you rice?!" Haha. But I made it anyway. Oh, the things you do. I do, I mean. Whatever. Anyhoo, it was fun. We were all just hanging out, like old times. Did I mention I had a blast?! We haven't been like this in a long time that I missed it soooo much. No outsiders, no disturbances, no one absent. Everyone at home, chilling, like a family. They are my family here. And I am always thankful that I get to spend my Sundays with them. Diana and Kuya Owen (the parents of the house), KC, Roger, Ku Cortz, Danny, and me. My friends. My family. <3
And then we just watch Ken Lee, and I showed them the Llama chant thing, and I was blogging and messaging certain peepers in fb, and Danny and I were reading my old blogs.
Ooh, ooh! And I met Bruce!! OMG! That totally, totally, TOTALLY made my night! All I know is it was awesome. So awesome in fact that despite the Sunday rain that soaked me, and I got sick Monday.. I was in happy mode!
..and what do I do? I find my self-destruct button. And I pushed it. Over, and over, and over, and over. But I'm not trying to make this a major thing.
Because I got to talk to one of my really good friends, r, and he was so sad and confuzzled and whatnot that we ended up talking deep profound thought.
Ooh, side note: Danny totally complimented my writing. Yay! Haha. He even said that my writing is starting to sound like his talking. -haha-
Anyhoo, I was gonna take r for ice cream but he was being a lame-o and wanted to sleep. So maybe I'll take him out tomorrow.
Ooh, another side note: Sometime last week, I went out to a bar with some of d.e.'s theatre friends that I guess are my friends now too.. Anyhoo, there was this one girl and she brought her brother whom I've never met. Anyhoo, I asked a friend to come with me because we both don't sing.. to us karaoke is a "spectator sport." Anyhoo, I guess my friend and my other friend's brother clicked and before you know it we're in Steak N Shake eating cheese fries, and then going home, and him asking her to dinner. Anyhoo, just to throw it out there.. I thought he is cute, but I knew he wasn't gonna even pay attention to me. Oh well, story of my life. But on my part, better for me to be disappointed now than later. =/
Anyway.. despite my random self-destruct button clicking, I'm still trying to be all smiles. =) Thanks to Danny, that's one of the major things I learned from him.
I miss him so much. Only God knows how much so. I never knew I'd be in the position to love from a distance but I guess love really is a powerful thing. Because in spite of the distance that I'm loving him, I'm still loving him. That when he wakes up in the morning, my love can still protect him.. in a way. *shrug*
.. I can't wait to be normal again.
.. I can't wait to be normal again.
05 April 2010
Explode.
When you least expect it, here comes a box of chocolates.
This weekend is filled with so many fun and not-so-fun and events that I'm still riding on a natural high. But in order for me to tell my story right, tan-dan-dan. ENUMERATION TIME!!
a.) Saturday was Caleb's birthday party, and as tradition, there was an egg hunt. It. Was. So. Much. Fun! I was joking around the grown-ups like I was part of the family, and I was hanging out with the young'ns having a blast like I was the coolest person in the room. Haha! I got paired with Sydney for the egg hunt, I was playing with most of Diana's nieces and nephews. I was playing pool and air hockey with KC's sister Krystine. I was rolling down the hill with Melissa, and Sam-Sam, and Deborah. I was playing sand volleyball with the rest of the other kids.. I even made cotton candy for them! Just the sight of these kids with their wows and big eyes when they received cotton candy made my heart swell. And at night, we all sang karaoke until we ABSOLUTELY had to leave. Awesome possum night at the Vidads.
b.) I woke up Sunday morning with a cramp on my left leg. Stupid biking. haha. It's been what, three days already? But I am still semi-suffering from the 18-mile ride. But it's okay.
c.) I saw Ever After for the first time with Diana and KC.I had goosebumps, I teared up. It was such a lovely movie! Love isn't dead. Love will come back to me. And hopefully, it's with the person that will love me back.
d.) I made cupcakes today, for Easter and for Maria too. And I made my dinner for the second Sunday, and it turned out way better than when I attempted the "chicken tenders". (See: jajacooks.blogspot.com)
e.) I went on speed grocery-shopping mode with KC at Meijer. And with barely any time to spare, we were able to pull it off. Between the Wolfpack Girls, this was our Easter Feast: rice (of course), Thai Iced Tea, jello syringes, tukneneng, pork chops, rib tips, corn, beef in black bean sauce, and cupcakes. Not bad. =)
f.) -ugh- Donkey. Ruined my night for a little bit. There was an excerpt, an anecdote about Donkey. But I just gotta get past it. Won't let Easter be ruined.
g.) I have this really, REALLY good friend Steve that I would open up to. He's an on and off friend. I mean, we're friends. But sometimes we talk and catch up and hang out and whatnot. When I have lost some resources to be able to hang out with him more, there was less time to see him. But we still catch up here and there. Well,, last Saturday, I vented to him about something that bugged me. I made him promise to keep it to himself. But what did he do? He disappointed me by going to one person and telling her about what we talked about. And what happened? She wrote to me, and it even sounded like she's trying to pick a fight with me. I give (note the still present thense) her the benefit of the doubt that we can actually be somewhat friends. But it seems that she just made it into something that involves Danny. I still love Danny. I still want to protect him from everything that's bad in the world. But he got dragged out of no reason at all. I confided in Steve, Steve told her and she told her friend and/or Danny. I know, I know it's drama. But I did not even mean for it to be drama. I was just being a girl, being emotional, and venting. You'd think girls'd understand that right? But it seems that whatever it is that is connected to me or Danny, gets all twisted and ends up boomeranging to me. Hay buhay.. parang life. =)
h.) The Barkada was complete tonight for Easter and I couldn't have been happier!! It's been a while that we've had a feast in the house. And I was so happy!! Me, Danny, KC, Roger, Ku Cortz, Kuya Owen, and Diana. All of us joking around, enjoying a meal together, having fun. I don't have family here in Illinois and my friends are my family. And my heart swells with so much pride and happiness and love to see everyone in the same room. It's the little things that make me smile.
i.) I had the ultimate surprise today!! "BRUCE"!! I finally got to meet a long-lost friend. His name is "Bruce." As it turns out, he's more special than I thought. And that not only did that make my heart swell with more pride, and happiness and love, but it made me tear up. =) There's more to the story but I'll tell it some other time. =)
j.) As you can see, I'm just about ready to explode. My heart is filled with so much happiness and love right now that I can't even explain it. Yes, there are definitely things that happened this weekend that made me sad, made me tear up, made me smile, and laugh and want to hug and kiss and spin around.
People will really surprise you.. especially when you really ABSOLUTELY least expect it. Thank you for giving me a reason to smile! <3
I'm still on Red Ink mode.
On Life.
On Love.
On People.
This weekend is filled with so many fun and not-so-fun and events that I'm still riding on a natural high. But in order for me to tell my story right, tan-dan-dan. ENUMERATION TIME!!
a.) Saturday was Caleb's birthday party, and as tradition, there was an egg hunt. It. Was. So. Much. Fun! I was joking around the grown-ups like I was part of the family, and I was hanging out with the young'ns having a blast like I was the coolest person in the room. Haha! I got paired with Sydney for the egg hunt, I was playing with most of Diana's nieces and nephews. I was playing pool and air hockey with KC's sister Krystine. I was rolling down the hill with Melissa, and Sam-Sam, and Deborah. I was playing sand volleyball with the rest of the other kids.. I even made cotton candy for them! Just the sight of these kids with their wows and big eyes when they received cotton candy made my heart swell. And at night, we all sang karaoke until we ABSOLUTELY had to leave. Awesome possum night at the Vidads.
b.) I woke up Sunday morning with a cramp on my left leg. Stupid biking. haha. It's been what, three days already? But I am still semi-suffering from the 18-mile ride. But it's okay.
c.) I saw Ever After for the first time with Diana and KC.I had goosebumps, I teared up. It was such a lovely movie! Love isn't dead. Love will come back to me. And hopefully, it's with the person that will love me back.
d.) I made cupcakes today, for Easter and for Maria too. And I made my dinner for the second Sunday, and it turned out way better than when I attempted the "chicken tenders". (See: jajacooks.blogspot.com)
e.) I went on speed grocery-shopping mode with KC at Meijer. And with barely any time to spare, we were able to pull it off. Between the Wolfpack Girls, this was our Easter Feast: rice (of course), Thai Iced Tea, jello syringes, tukneneng, pork chops, rib tips, corn, beef in black bean sauce, and cupcakes. Not bad. =)
f.) -ugh- Donkey. Ruined my night for a little bit. There was an excerpt, an anecdote about Donkey. But I just gotta get past it. Won't let Easter be ruined.
g.) I have this really, REALLY good friend Steve that I would open up to. He's an on and off friend. I mean, we're friends. But sometimes we talk and catch up and hang out and whatnot. When I have lost some resources to be able to hang out with him more, there was less time to see him. But we still catch up here and there. Well,, last Saturday, I vented to him about something that bugged me. I made him promise to keep it to himself. But what did he do? He disappointed me by going to one person and telling her about what we talked about. And what happened? She wrote to me, and it even sounded like she's trying to pick a fight with me. I give (note the still present thense) her the benefit of the doubt that we can actually be somewhat friends. But it seems that she just made it into something that involves Danny. I still love Danny. I still want to protect him from everything that's bad in the world. But he got dragged out of no reason at all. I confided in Steve, Steve told her and she told her friend and/or Danny. I know, I know it's drama. But I did not even mean for it to be drama. I was just being a girl, being emotional, and venting. You'd think girls'd understand that right? But it seems that whatever it is that is connected to me or Danny, gets all twisted and ends up boomeranging to me. Hay buhay.. parang life. =)
h.) The Barkada was complete tonight for Easter and I couldn't have been happier!! It's been a while that we've had a feast in the house. And I was so happy!! Me, Danny, KC, Roger, Ku Cortz, Kuya Owen, and Diana. All of us joking around, enjoying a meal together, having fun. I don't have family here in Illinois and my friends are my family. And my heart swells with so much pride and happiness and love to see everyone in the same room. It's the little things that make me smile.
i.) I had the ultimate surprise today!! "BRUCE"!! I finally got to meet a long-lost friend. His name is "Bruce." As it turns out, he's more special than I thought. And that not only did that make my heart swell with more pride, and happiness and love, but it made me tear up. =) There's more to the story but I'll tell it some other time. =)
j.) As you can see, I'm just about ready to explode. My heart is filled with so much happiness and love right now that I can't even explain it. Yes, there are definitely things that happened this weekend that made me sad, made me tear up, made me smile, and laugh and want to hug and kiss and spin around.
People will really surprise you.. especially when you really ABSOLUTELY least expect it. Thank you for giving me a reason to smile! <3
I'm still on Red Ink mode.
On Life.
On Love.
On People.
03 April 2010
My Secret Service
So, I've been doing some community service work, aka secretservice, and I spend my Mondays-Wednesday-Fridays and if I feel like it Tuesdays-Thursdays in the Senior Services in downtown Elgin.
When I first found out where I'm going, I'm like, "What am I gonna do?" I was kinda nervous because I've never done any volunteer work before. But when I got there, my initial reaction was, it wasn't that bad. I mean, granted that my first day was on my birthday and they asked me to clean the washrooms.. oh well. But as time pass by (I've gone five days already) I am beginning to LOVE it!!
I had my apprehension at first because the first time I've been around old people was when I worked as a receptionist at the Manor Care nursing home in Elgin. It was so disheartening to see old people walking around in canes and walkers and wheelchairs, some with oxygen tanks even. I don't know. The whole environment felt helpless, sad, and honestly, I couldn't stand it. I read somewhere that caring hurts. And it's true. And since working at the Senior Services, I realized something. it only hurts when you feel like you can't do anything. That caring isn't enough, but there's just no other way to help out.
And so far, I've had a blast working at the Senior Services. Aside from the occasional washroom cleaning, I "report" to Minnie, who is a Filipino lady who works there. I'm not sure what her actual job title and job description is but mainly she's in charge of activities, entertainment, etc.
I've torn down decorations, cleaned washrooms, mopped floors, washed dishes, pushed tables, carried chairs, decorated for Easter, helped out at bingo, fetched coffee for the old people, transported bread from the van to the stage, inflated balloons by hand, helped throw an end of the month birthday party, made food for 120 people (ham, drinks, salads, appetizers, etc.), and helped out at an Easter party. And that's just in the five days I've been there.
It may not be a lot, but I'm falling in love with the place, and the seniors too! They are the sweetest things ever! They appreciate the little things that I do for them, like letting them help put candies inside Easter eggs, getting them their coffee, helping them carry their stuff, or even just engaging them in a conversation. They're like little kids in a way, just with more wisdom and experience.
At the end of of all, we just want someone to pay attention to us at the end of the day.
When I first found out where I'm going, I'm like, "What am I gonna do?" I was kinda nervous because I've never done any volunteer work before. But when I got there, my initial reaction was, it wasn't that bad. I mean, granted that my first day was on my birthday and they asked me to clean the washrooms.. oh well. But as time pass by (I've gone five days already) I am beginning to LOVE it!!
I had my apprehension at first because the first time I've been around old people was when I worked as a receptionist at the Manor Care nursing home in Elgin. It was so disheartening to see old people walking around in canes and walkers and wheelchairs, some with oxygen tanks even. I don't know. The whole environment felt helpless, sad, and honestly, I couldn't stand it. I read somewhere that caring hurts. And it's true. And since working at the Senior Services, I realized something. it only hurts when you feel like you can't do anything. That caring isn't enough, but there's just no other way to help out.
And so far, I've had a blast working at the Senior Services. Aside from the occasional washroom cleaning, I "report" to Minnie, who is a Filipino lady who works there. I'm not sure what her actual job title and job description is but mainly she's in charge of activities, entertainment, etc.
I've torn down decorations, cleaned washrooms, mopped floors, washed dishes, pushed tables, carried chairs, decorated for Easter, helped out at bingo, fetched coffee for the old people, transported bread from the van to the stage, inflated balloons by hand, helped throw an end of the month birthday party, made food for 120 people (ham, drinks, salads, appetizers, etc.), and helped out at an Easter party. And that's just in the five days I've been there.
It may not be a lot, but I'm falling in love with the place, and the seniors too! They are the sweetest things ever! They appreciate the little things that I do for them, like letting them help put candies inside Easter eggs, getting them their coffee, helping them carry their stuff, or even just engaging them in a conversation. They're like little kids in a way, just with more wisdom and experience.
At the end of of all, we just want someone to pay attention to us at the end of the day.
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