24 September 2008

why hello there, digital age.

omg.

i'm beginning to feel like i'm being replaced by a frickin' laptop.

a.) he's always concerned about how he doesn't get enough sleep so he's been trying to sleep earlier coz he has class at 8 in the morning.. before he got a laptop. now he's up until 2am dL-ing music and uL-ing pics and being on facebook..

*i understand coz he's never had a pc and it's new.. but still.

b.) he's on the phone with me AND doing stuff in the computer.

*sales class taught me that there's no such thing as multi-tasking.

c.) i was in the middle of telling him a story and he says, "hey, i'll call you back." but an hour later, he still hasn't called me back. understandable if he was busy,, but he's on facebook again!!

ugh.

inxs: i refuse to be replaced by something from the effin' gadget age.

>_<,,

jaja

19 September 2008

friday night tears

it's a friday night. i am neither out with friends hanging out nor enjoying myself. i'm effin' crying.

i'm supposed to be giddy with excitement right now, because after waiting for a whole week, i get to hang out with danny tomorrow. but instead, i'm crying, and he's off blowing off steam somewhere. i mean, seriously, am i that of a tragedy to deal with? i ruin relations left and right, and where do i end up? kicked to the curb.

in my 23 years of living i have managed to ruin the more important relationships i've had..

my relative in california? i don't talk to them anymore.
my bestfriends in the philippines? no contact.
my first friend here in the united states, silvia? she's despised me.
my soulmate krackel? guess we're not soulmates anymore.
my mom? i try to stay away.
my stepdad? i avoid him at all costs.
my sister, punx? lives in cali and we always just end up yelling and cursing and hanging up.
even my dad, who brought me up for 19years of my life? i haven't talked to him in over two years.
tristan, who i promised i would protect from the cruelty of the world? i feel like i don't know him anymore..
gaea, who i treated as a sister along and her family my family? i feel distant from her.
my boyfriend and bestfriend, danny? well, he'd pretty much be more excited having lunch with someone else than spend time with me.

something is fucking wrong with me? why can't i see that i'm actually suppose to keep the good relationships and throw away the bad ones. here i am ruining relationships, but making up with my frenemy, justine. (long story.)

maybe keeping relationships is a WHOLE NEW concept for me. hey janis, uh i don't know if anyone told you these, but you're suppose to hold on to the relationships that you like.

oh effer. what is wrong with me? why is it that i manage to do the wrong things all the time. and who ends up hurt and crying and nursing a broken heart?? ME. fucking ME.

and why do i not learn my lesson? i don't know, maybe because i fail to realize the mistakes in the first place. ugh. all i want is to be happy, and be in a happy surrounding, with happy people surrounding me. i know, the world doesn't revolve around me, but maybe i can share the spotlight you know? i mean, each person that i deem important, i may not spend every waking day with them, but when i'm with them, the have their own spotlight, colors and all. they don't share with anyone. i give them their own spotlight. i'm not even beggin for my own spotlight, maybe i can just share. but nnnoooooooo.. i have to beg even for just a blink of a spotlight.

oh, boy..
friend.
oh, boyfriend.

is love really overrated?
or do i still get my chance?

..i still want my chance.

jaja

17 September 2008

"..if you want to gather honey, don't kick over the beehive.."

oh dale carnegie, thank you for your wisdom!

fyi, dale carnegie wrote "how to win friends & influence people.
fyi, this book is so awesome it's been in print for 70 years!

i am taking mkt105 (sales) and we have to do a report on dale carnegie's book, and from the first 30 pages i've read, i can already tell this will help me learn about stuff i should've realized a long time ago. =D

but right now, i just wanna share something that i learned from dCarnegie..

appreciation and flattery are two different things.

appreciation is sincere, flattery is not.
**flattery is cheap praise.
appreciation comes from the heart out, flattery comes from the teeth out.
one is selfish, the other unselfish.
one is universally admired,and the other is universally condemned.

"flattery is telling the other person precisely what he thinks about himself."

once i did bad and that i heard ever//twice i did good and that i heard never.

some people are so hungry, so thirsty for appreciation that they will swallow anything, just as a starving man will eat grass and fishworms.

so remember people: appreciation, not flattery.

jaja

09 September 2008

promise ring my butt.

it's been a busy week. fun stuff here and there. and what am i going to blog about? stupid promise rings.

ugh.

note: for those of you who saw the mtv vmas last sunday, you know what i'm talking about.

chris brand was the host for this year's vmas. and as avid mtv fans know, it always starts with the host and his standup, bashing and trashing celebrities and whatnot. and he started talking about like-a-virgins and promise rings. and fyi, i didn't know that the JoBros (jonas brothers in layman terms) wear promise ring to symbolize their, uh, promise to stay virgs. and then, as a retort, jordin sparks, another promise ring wearer, said that it's not bad to wear promise rings because maybe some girls and boys don't want to be sluts. and then the camera pans to the JoBros with their stoic expressions while cBrand explains himself, in that accent of his.

now i have an issue with this. issues, i mean.

a.) jSparks' comment leaves no room for a gray area. it's a yes or no comment, or black and white. however you want to put it. why? because inasmuch as i know that she means well, i gues she should've tought about how to say it first. she said that people wear promise rings because not everyone wants to be sluts. does that mean those who don't wear them ARE sluts? well, i never wore a promise ring. does that make me a slut? who else didn't? my mom, my sister, my boyfriend, probably his mom, my girl friends, they never did. does that mean i surround myself with sluts? that promise ring is not gonna cork a vagina, people. i can stick to my ideals even without a promise ring.

and just in case people didn't notice, young people were there. miley cyrus, drake and josh, and the JoBros all brought their fans along with them obviously. preteens, young'uns, you name it. they may want to start wearing promise rings because their idols wear them and they're good role models about staying virgs until god-knows-when, or they may think that OMG, we're not wearing rings, are we slutzillas??

and i'm gonna say it again, i know she meant well, she should've just thought about it first.

b.) the JoBros are babies for taking to heart whatever cBrand said. it's the MTV, for crying out loud. it's about sex, and curse words, and bashings, and too-close-for-comfort humor! nick, kevin and joe (funny i know their names..XP) sitting there looking like they were disrespected, was normal, but they should've expected something. they're like the biggest thing in the bubblegum pop world, and of course they'r gonna be talked about. maybe they're not ready for the big world, little boys. maybe disney is where they belong, filled with rainbows, butterflies, and unicorns. thy're cute and all, but what the hizzle? i think that they should drop their tighty-whiteys and start wearing some boxer briefs (which are tres hot) if they want to make it in the man man's world. (hah! man man..)

jaja

05 September 2008

i can't believe i'm so heartbroken.

..over the asian filipino club. this sucks, man.

does anybody out there understand how heartbroken i am. i think, only danny does.

i feel like i lost a family, and i lost a friend.

a-flipz club and gaea.

i don't know. i just feel so distant now.

i'm heartbroken, and sad. i can't even convert it to words.

*tear*

jaja

04 September 2008

WHY IS IT RAINING TODAY??????????????

.. and why am i wearing flipflops??

ugh.

uhm, i'm in computer class again. ang i'm blogging again coz i'm kinda bored. hehe.

but i want to rant.

why is it raining??
you know why??
coz it's too warm to be snow!!
ugh.
(can you tell i kinda don't like winter?)

i was all set to go outside the house when my 5 y/o sister sammie said, "it's drizzling outside. you can bring the umbrella by the door." and all i said was, "well, i'm not bringing a big umbrella since it's just drizzling anyway." of course, leave it to a five year-old to appreciate big umbrellas. haha.

so i, in my hoodless track jacket and flipflops, walked out the "drizzly" weather. 12 seconds into pulling out of the driveway, it started pouring!! and of course, lazy me did not want to turn back around to grab a hoodie, plus i was running late. and i was running on wishful thinking that it'll let up as soon as i get to school.

but it didn't.

it was wet, and drenching, and pouring. oh, and the traffic started getting bad. XP.

and when i got to the parking lot, what one thing went past my head the whole time and i didn't notice until i was about to get out of my car??

i'm wearing effin' flipflops!!

and the parking lot was uneven enough to have puddles of water all over the place! so i looked like a dummy skipping around trying to avoid these puddles. [insert loud groan here].

so now i'm in class, came in late,

03 September 2008

i really should be doing schoolwork right now..

.. but i'm not. yet, anyway.

ugh, i think that blogging keeps me sane. coz i'm starting to get hooked again, for the 12 millionth time. but i just wanna "upload" stuff that happened today.

well, basically, i went to school after work and it was actually cool. i thought it'd be awkward after being MIA for a week and a half, practically. but when i got to school people were saying hi to me and telling me they missed me and wondering where i've been lately and complimenting me on my new hair and whatnot. and i was all like, "wow!! look at all these people who actually noticed i was gone! i guess, i'm not so invisible after all.."

p.s.: i tried to be the bigger person for gaea, again, and i felt very distant from her. :-(

i think i had a fairly productive, interesting, and fun day today. better than the past two weeks-ish.

i went to student life to do some notes for management class. i met up with danny for lunch. i met up wtih santiago coz i recruited him for the college programming board. i was even on a roll with all the ideas and suggestions and stuff for cpb. and then i met up with andrea and we talked about kaibigan international, and we are actually planning for it to be an actual organization. we were researching about it and planning and we are just so excited about it. and then i finished my previous blog. and then i had a fun time in sales class. and then i'm home. XD.

i just missed out on working out.

i'll just catch up tomorrow. XD.

and then now, here's what i'm supposed to be doing:
[ ] rewrite notes for sales class
[ ] make notes for management class
[ ] read intro to comp slides
[ ] punch and compile handouts
[ ] read over kaibigan international research materials
[ ] make and compile kaibigan international materials
[ ] write script for kaibigan international videoo
[ ] ideas and suggestions for cpb
[ ] poster ideas for cpb
[ ] add cpb, afc, kaibigan international binder dividers
[ ] email amybeth about sales class video
[ ] email amazon about books
[ ] read 120pages of dale carnegie's how to win friends and influence people
[ ] kaibigan international planning stuff

..okay

..here goes

jaja

02 September 2008

amazing long weekend = crashtired in class come tuesday.

hoo boy! i am in computer class right now and i am blogging.

this.
is.
♥ AWESOME. ♥

or maybe not. 'coz i think i'm supposed to be listening. but instead, i've already checked my email, my facebook, and now i'm blogging. ooh, i love blogging.

but anyways. let's see if i can finish this blog in fifteen minutes. or less.

so i've had a really amazing weekend, and it's the awesomest one i've had in a really long time.

friday:

i went to work and then i got to hang out with danny. and then i went on a roadtrip, by myself thank you very much, to woodhaven to hang out with la familia. and i have to say, that was the coolest experience ever. i don't know why people don't like driving. i love, love, LOVE driving. and now that i had my personal roadtrip experience, well, i'm addicted to it. i felt lit those movie plots where i only have just enough cash on me, a small overnight purse, a crappy car with no A/C and a busted radio, plus the fact that it's a really crappy car and i don't know where the effer i'm going. haha. life in the open road is awesome. i got my ipod with me, "singing" at the top of my lungs, with the farms and trees and highway unfolding in front of me. i got such an amazing natural high and adrenaline rush from it that i'm motivated more than ever to save up for a really cool and awesome roadtrip car. secondhand, of course. i'm still rooting for a white honda crv, the old school version. which by the way, is WAY cooler than the new one. (which reminds me of a turtle..) and then i got to woodhaven and i was just lounging poolside while mis hermanas were swimming. and then i was just reading my new book, and playing the ds and the wi. i didn't swim coz i just didn't feel like it. maybe when i'm 30lbs lighter. XD

saturday:

we went home. well, actually it was more complicated than that. my mom, and sister and matthew and i drove to midway, back home, then midway again, and then home sans matthew and soleil. and then danny and i were off to a nice chill dinner out in jimmy's charhouse. (see previous entry for the fight that ensued.) and then we just chilled at my house and watched a movie (matchstick men) while he gave me a massage. XD

sunday:

danny had to go to karate and then to his oh-so-special cabaret cast night out in chicago. so that left me to tend for myself for the rest of the day. so after breakfast with danny, which i made for him, he left. and then i managed to make my day productive to the fullest. i cleaned and redid my room, i did laundry, i cleaned and redid my bathroom, i went shopping for a little bit (shopping therapy for my sitch with gaea, see previous entry.) and then i ate some lunch (chippotle) while watching the second season of will and grace. and then i downloaded some songs from limewire for my ipod (love it!), and i played sims too. haha. and then i invited danny to sleep over because we'll be leaving for chicago early the next day. and this time, i promised no fights. XD

monday: labor day (3rd labor day we went downtown. ♥)

[oops, class is almost over. lemme finish this after class. i'ma just run across the hall to the computer lab. if there's a free computer. XD]

edit:
it's the 3rd of sept, 720a. and i'm blogging before work. i said i was going to finish my blog entry immediately after class yesterday but i got caught up with, uh, going home. so, i'm just gonna finish this up before getting in my car, putting gas in it, and then driving to bowes.


monday: labor day (3rd labor day we went downtown. ♥)

danny and i woke up early-ish. and then we decided to get some breakfast before catching the 955 train, which ended up to be the 1155 train for us. we were gonna get some smoothies at the gay shakes place (i.e. froots smoothies or something like that), but decided on jamba juice instead (yum, love.). so we went to grab bfast at denny's which was like right next door to jamba. it was a nice bfast if not for the, ugh, server we got who was drenched in sweat. i was so afraid it would drip right down to my bfast skillet and water. ewwwww.

and then we drove to national street to catch our train. since we got there early enough, we ended up cleaning danny's windows. apparently, it's my fault for deliberately putting fingerprints and footprints (haha! that was a fun time!) on the insides of his windows and windshield. and then the train came. it was a fun, nice, chillax ride i have to say. i just whipped out my ipod and we started singing and being goofy. we sang tagalog songs, rnb, boybands, disney, and even bubble pop (one love - jordan pruitt). it was interesting to see that a few people who were on the train were drinking already. not interesting that they were drinking, interesting that they were drinking at noon. i mean, just because they're not driving doesn't mean they have to drink (an observation i would soon realize later on in the day) . but then again, i guess it was due to the fact that there was a cubs game, and they were gearing up for it. haha. and then.. we're in chicago!!

i love chicago.

it gives me this adventurous, independent, spontaneous, natural high-y spirit in me. and i love it. the architecture is awesome, the people are most definitely interesting, the food is everywhere, the cars are crazy (well, the drivers are), the weather is always just about right, and art is everywhere.

did i mention i love chicago? <3 style="font-style: italic;">wawa face here] (wawa = pity in tagalog). so danny and i were like, let's just walk around millenium park. we went to the big tent and there was a family fun event thingy sponsored by target and we got free hats that won't even fit our heads, ooh and we learned how to make recycled paper. haha. and then we were walking around some more and there was a concert going on but it was so hot and our legs started sweating uncomfortably from the heat (we were wearing jeans) so we decided to go find a shade somewhere. and then we got to the water place at the millenium park and danny wanted to just make a run around the water, and so we did. i asked him if we're gonna wait for the heavy waterfall and he said no, but when we got th=o that spot, he tried to hold me in place just so i will be the only one getting drenched. AHH!! but then luckily, i grabbed his belt loop and we both got drenched. now we're both soaked with no towels or a change of clothes, thank you very much. so we just grabbed our stuff and decided to stand under the sun and dry off. and then we found a ledge so we can lie down and dry off. so in our damp glory, we lied down and listened to music some more and tooks lots of pictures. ooh, and i made him model for ipod while i take pictures. haha. he's such an actor, really. well, more like a performer/entertainer. but it was fun. XD. and then when we were a bit more dry, we decided we'll walk around and find a place to eat.

we decided to be spontaneous and try something we've never been to before so we walked around and found --> BB restaurant and bar (Beef Brandy). it was a really cool place. very chill, relaxed, quaint, and very private too. we both love the service, the food was good and the prices were not that bad either.

[i gotta go to work, i'll finish this in school after work.]

edit:
it's the 3rd still, and at 6:21pm trying to fnish this blog. i have 39 mins to do so before going to sales class. oh, and while i'm doing this, i'm reading a book for class: dale carnegie's how to win friends and influence people.

.. after BB, we walked around to find a trolley that will take us to navy pier, basically our last destination for the day. we hopped on one and just chilled while enjoying the ride downtown. we got to navy pier and walked straight to the beer garden. there were people dancing on the floor and the band, i guess, wasn't too bad, considering the fact that he looked like a shrunken vin diesel (i.e., haven't worked out in a year or something.) he grabbed a draft and i a margarita and sat down at one of the picnic benches to people-watch. fyi: we love to people-watch. and this instance was a very entertaining one indeed. there was a group of white girls (and blonde too) dancing right up the front by the stage. and needless to say, there was a token white girl who can't dance. and seriously can't dance. it was entertaining. we wanted to look away but there will always be a morbid fascination that people just can't resist to look, well, stare.

after that, we walked back towards the front when we saw the cooler part of the beer garden, where there were beach chairs out where you can just lounge and stuff. and i got a strawberry margarita and he got a strawberry daquiri. i learned something by the way.. strawberry margarita has tequila while strawberry daquiri has rum. hehe. oh, and lime always make the taste of anything better. haha. and danny had to pee so we walked towards the nearest washroom. while i was waiting for him outside, i was reading the timeline of chicago by the stained glass museum area of navy pier, when i started getting tipsy and stuff, and i was like "ooh, fun! drunk in the city!" and then we decided to grab dinner at joe's be-bop cafe. where i had my third drink in the last hour basically for that night: a cosmopolitan. and danny got a long island iced tea. uhm, sorry for the sex and the city fanatics but i guess i'm not going to be a cosmo follower. unless, of course, they made it too strong at joe's. i'm a strawberry margarita girl ♥♥.

oh, well, of coruse we had food also. haha. but i was too dizzy to eat and my stomach was too upset to take in any more stuff. so we ended up taking the rest to go and then after relieving ourselves in the bathroom (meaning to pee, separately, you grossminded people! =D) we hopped on the next bus back to union station.

and thus endeth our 3rd labor day trip to chicago. well, coz we mostly fell asleep on the ride back home.

it was fun. i had a really nice time spending the day downtown with danny, as always. and since we kinda had a bad time in chicago the last time we were there (for the taste if chicago), i promised him that i will make it up to him for labor day. and i did. and we had a really fun time.

*sigh*

i love spending time with danny. adventures, spontaneity, randomness, roadtrips, and whatever. we have fun all the time. because we generally agree on the same things and we are open to doing what the other person wants to do, which basically is the same thing for that person too.

♥ i'm lucky to have him. ♥

jaja