Dear Mama,
I had to insist on living with you, you know? Papa wanted me to
live with the grandparents in Cali. But upon my insistence, I told him
that I wanna be able to say I’ve lived with my mom before I fully become
an adult and be on my own. In the five years I’ve been here in the US,
I’ve alternated between living under your roof, and living alone in an
apartment. Now, you’re all the way in Cali and I’m all alone here in
Illinois. Short as it may, I’m glad I still got to live with you. I miss
you!
Dear Papa,
I haven’t spoken a word to you in five years. I feel so
terrible that I pulled away from you, after all you’ve done for me and
Punky when we were still in the Philippines, just us three. I may have a
lot of hard feelings with the hurtful stuff that was said and done, but
I know that I should just get over myself and let you back in my life
again. I don’t know what’s stopping me. I cried when I saw the video of
you being interviewed by a local news station about your record
collection. I cried when I saw the recent pictures of Punky when she
visited the Philippines and you two had a picture. In my head, I thought
“It’s probably breaking your heart that five years ago, you drove two
daughter to the airport, and only one came back to visit you.” I always
psych myself to write you a letter, but I get scared, I don’t know what
to say to a father who’s daughter decided to ignore him out of the blue.
Nothing hurts more, I know. Please forgive me.
Dear Mama and Papa,
I am who I am because of you two. We all struggled as a family.
Mama and Papa, my younger sister Punky, and I. You Mama had to do what
you did by working in the US while Papa and Punky and I stayed behind.
Days gone by where we literally didn’t know where to get our next meal,
while my sister and I were unaware that you were in the US with another
man. In spite of the struggle, the hardships, and the mistakes we all
made to each other as a family, I am still standing strong. I may be
broken, but that’s what makes me unique. One day, we will all be happy, I
promise. I love you Mama and Papa with all my heart, even though I
don’t express it.
Your firstborn,
Jaja
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