I don't know how to play the game. The dating game, that is. Even though I've been out of a three year relationship for more than a year now, I can honestly say I didn't go on dates with that guy. So technically, I've never gone on a date. EVER. Nor would I ever know how to. Kind of embarrassing to admit, coming from a 25 (almost 26) year old. I'm a late bloomer in this field actually. My last relationship was was first relationship. And going out on the dating world at this age, scares the hell out of me. When everyone knows the unspoken rules of love, lust, and dating. I am but a two year old learning how to put puzzles together.
Trying is almost out of the question. I suffer from word vomit when I'm around the opposite sex, I ate eye contacts for long periods of time (I get really self-conscious), and my nerves are just about ready to explode on just about any flirting situation. Oh, and may I just add one teeny tiny thing: I don't know how to flirt.
I have a handful of really good friends who met their significant others online. One lasted fore a couple of years, one lasted for a couple of months. And one is currently in progress. Two met on an online dating site and one in a chatroom. I have always thought that online dating/matchmaking is for a population that cannot otherwise find a significant other in the real world and is a sign of desperation. But now that I look back, people in my age group are too busy building roots for their own future, stability and security for their future significant others or themselves, that there is simply no time to scout each and every single-populated location. Online dating is a " fast, get in, get out" kind of way. People who sign up are obviously interested in a relationship, long term or otherwise. No need to test the waters and see if the other person is interested, so much like situations in parties and clubs, etc. No beating around the bush, no BS.
I have a friend who's been going out with his boyfriend for more than almost three years now. They met at a club. I've always thought that people who go out and meet people in clubs and bars are just out there to have a good time, and I've never been a good time kind of girl. Because of my traditional (prude-ish) upbringing, I don't ever have the good-time guy mentality. I always think that somebody is a potential.
I read a book when I was 18, entitled "I Kissed Dating Goodbye" by Josh something. He talked about how dating purely for the "right now" aspect of it is a waste of time when that time can be spent doing more important stuff like preparing for your future or serving God (ironically enough, last I heard, I think this Josh person because an actual server of God). And honesty, as hard as I try, I can't get that idea out of my head. It makes sense, but at the same time, it stops me from living as a young adult and having fun. But I guess, there are other ways that I can have fun right?
As far back as I can remember, I've had people tell me on numerous occasions that so-and-so liked (yes, past tense) me. And whenever I ask them how come I never heard about it or he didn't say anything, the answer is always (no fail) "..because you're pretty intimidating." Ouch?
I don't even know how I give off the intimidating vibe. I get EXTREMELY shy, I get the "I'm too plainjane" mood sometimes. But intimidating? ..well, I guess MAYBE it's because I wait for the other person to talk to me first.. because I'm SHY. But then again, maybe my go-to attitude is snarky sometimes.
It's the new year and I'd really like to learn and get my foot in the dating door. I don't plan on being a serial dater, I just want to learn the ropes in the hopes that maybe when I come across a guy that's worthy of my dorky ways, I know what to do and what NOT to do.
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