Monday!!

It's the last week of September. Then it's October, November, then December. Before you know it, I'm 27. Time is flying by so fast, taking a deep breath isn't even helping. Why am I growing up so fast! While adulthood has its perks, it kinda sucks a great deal.

I have to train new girls at work. After that, I can finally get my full-time status. With benefits. I can finally have my teeth fixed.. and yes, braces included.

I may start that second job soon. That means goodbye to my so-called social life. But these are things I have to do now, so that I can have a better life later.

I have something going on all weekends of October. A double sweet sixteen, a random photoshoot with friends, a bachelorette party, a birthday, a wedding. That doesn't include the spur of the moment phone calls I will mostt likely get to go out or hang out. On top of that, training and babysitting the new girls at work, full time hours in one job, and potential part time hours in a second job. On top of that my, my responsibilities. Bills, utilities, groceries, rent, car maintenance, laundry, working out, etc., etc., etc. I already got stressed just thinking about all that stuff.

I'm moving storages so my room is a mess! I look like I should be in an episode of Hoarders. I literally only have one side of my bed. I have one straight line from the door to my bed. That reminds me, I have to rent a cargo truck.

For the next year, I wanna get a brand spankin' new car. I'm going to Vegas for a friend's birthday. I'm going to Cali for my family birthday party. I'm going to the Philippines for my ten-year highschool reunion. Speaking of which, I really really hope someone is planning it, because I miss my highschool friends.. and I miss the highschool me. The highschool me wanted to be a supermodel.

My ongoing joke with my friends is that my wedding date is 12.12.12, since it's my favorite number. Haha. Let's all find me a boy first, right?

By the way, a little confession: I am surrounded by family and friends getting engaged, getting married, having kids, and I can't help but be jealous a bit. In the past years, getting married and starting a family was something I thought about, but nothing concrete. Like a fairytale. But since my friend got married last year, and since it was the first wedding I've ever attended and I was even the bridesmaid, it's been a constant thought for me. I'm not talking about "Ooh, when I get married I want this, blah blah blah." Let's just say, I know where I wanna get married, where the reception is going to be, colors, theme, music, check, check, check. And to kid around with my friends, I tell them that all the guy has to do is show up and sign all the checks and papers.. and not to worry because I've already named our future kids.

Maybe I want it too much. Maybe I want someone to love and love me in return so bad that I have a nagging feeling at the back of my mind that it's never gonna happen. I don't wanna get married when I'm 35. Well, sure, they said that 30 is the new 20 and that's when we can fully live our lives as adults. When I find that guy for me, I don't want to be a stepmom to teenagers (baby mama drama is so tacky), nor do I want to be someone's second (maybe even third!) wife. I want to get married only once.

But at the rate that I'm going and sounding right now. No man's gonna want to date me since I have marriage on the mind. Isn't that a big no-no to eligible bachelors nowadays?

Life is a vicious cycle and I don't know where to get off.