In A Glee State of Mind

• Sunshine’s Filipino accent was so thick it cracked me up. Not in a making-fun-of-you way.. more of the i-cant-believe-i-sound-like-that way.
• Rachel is way too skinny in this season. Her knees were very.. bony. And of course, there’s her cheeks,  and her collarbone. I’m not sure about the bangs either. She still looks pretty anyway. Just different. I hope she doesn’t fall down the anorexic celebrity path.
• Kurt and Mercedes are glamazons as usual. I think their characters are the one that actually stayed consistent.
• Santana and Britany (sp?) are getting bigger and bigger, I mean role-wise. I love Brit’s dancing. And I have a girl crush on Santana. Plus I love her name. I think they should build storylines for them.
• I’m not so sure about Quinn. I think she’s really pretty but.. *shrug*.
• XOMG. Sam’s mouth?? I can’t stop looking at it. Not in a lustful way but in a Magic Eye kind of way. He reminded me of a REALLY blond John Mayer when he donned on the guitar.
• Artie-Tina-Mike. I can’t blame Tina for going after what she wanted. I mean, the lady wants to dance for chrissakes. And I’m not being judgmental against hadicapables, I’m just saying. Dancing Asians, how racist. Haha! Just kidding.

    I honestly don’t think the premiere of Glee was all that (sheesh, sorry). Aside from tying up loose ends, I didn’t see a BANG-BOOM we’re back episode. They literally just picked up where they left off. Meh. And is it just me or the song numbers were not that BANG-BOOM either? Well, the Empire State of Mind was my favorite performance. I did like Charice’s solo, haha, but then again maybe I’m biased? Haha.
    I guess I’ll just have to let it unfold. I’ll go watch the preview for the next episode but.. I hate having expectations.
    Oh crap! I forgot about Puck.

• Puck was oh-so-hot as ever. But really, no highschooler looks like that.. or any of them for that matter. Haha!

    One last thing, Sunshine was so short it would’ve been hilarious if they’ve given her the bottom locker. XP
Peace, Love, and Cupcakes,
Jaja

God Bless The Broken Road.

    So, yeah. I'm a sucker for love. I'm an incurable hopeless romantic. It's 4:10 in the morning and I can't sleep and I am now blogging, while (trying but not successfully) holding back tears.

    I couldn't sleep so I decided to catch up on my Psych episodes. The episode "One, Maybe Two Ways Out" made me cry. Not so much as the concept of the episode. More like the Juliet-Shawn romance.

    All throughout the whole series, Shawn has always had a special spot for Juliet. He's always loved her but she's always been.. unattainable, unreachable. They were never in the same page. This episode was not that different. Talk about tension man.

    Anyway, in this particular episode, Shawn was opening up to Gus about his feelings for Juliet. He wants her to be happy, but he wants to be happy too. And he can't just be happy without Jules. That the whole time he had this "connection" with the spy lady, all he could think of was Jules. The whole time they were talking, Shawn must've forgotten that he was wired and that Jules was in the surveillance van listening. Everything clicked for Juliet and she realized that she did have this strong feelings for Shawn all along. At the end of the episode, Shawn was telling Jules to have fun on her vacation with her "boyfriend" because that's what you should do when you're on vacation.. enjoy it with someone that makes you happy. While Shawn was rambling on and on, Jules couldn't hold back anymore and she leaned in to give Shawn a long passionate kiss. Then of course, "boyfriend" showed up and there it is.

    Did I mention I'm a sucker for such things? I've been in love. Once. And I went on trips and vacations and adventure with the person that made me laugh. Did it do me any good? I hope so. But I had my heart broken, and at times I think that all those good times are nothing compared to the pain that I went through. I lost bestfriend, which was the biggest deal of all. But do I give up and say, "Oh, Janis. Let it go. Don't ever love again. It doesn't exist. It's just an unreachable idea. You can be as close to it as possible, but you'll never really get there."
    I have to admit.. sometimes I get to thinking that maybe people only get one chance. I got mine, adios, peace out. But I'm too scared to think that I will die without loving and being loved in return. I'd have notions that I should just give up trying to look for love because the first time it happened? I was in deep sh** that I thought I can never pick up the pieces. Right now, I'm walking around with the pieces in my pocket. I've slowly let people make me smile again. I want someone who will accept me for who I am, broken pieces and all. Maybe, they'll even have the patience to put me back together.
    I know God has something big for me. I just know it.

Something's Gotta Give.

    Blame Twitter.

   
    Have it not been for the easy-access all-day pass of microblogging in Twitter, I'd have been updating my personal blog more. Well, that and Tumblr. Anyway, I really really REALLY need to vent and rant and let some emotions pass. I have not had a heart-to-heart- entry with my blog in forever!!

    Anyway, you know that feeling when you've been having all good things and you're riding on a natural high and you're unstoppable.. and yet at the back of your mind, you know it's too good to be true that something's gotta give?
   
    I feel that ALL the time. But the most recent one have been these past few weeks.

    I've been having a blast with my life, partying and going out and having fun and experience fun, new and cool stuff. It's the calm before the storm.

    Going to Chicago, and wine bars, and JB. Watching dance concerts, chef demonstrations, having Jersey Shore marathons. Late night trips and clubbing and birthdays. Cute boys, and crushes, and more crushes. All happy stuff that made me catch myself smiling and surprising myself that I can smile a little bit more again.

    But noooooooooooo. This thing called Life? It screws you over big time. I've had a blast this weekend, as with other weekends.. and all the while, anticipating the storm. And of course, I saw the storm. And like a stupid, coward, weak person.. I cracked. And then there were pieces.

Yes Ma'am.

  All “recently” and “not-so-recently” single girls (and boys, I guess) need to have that one single friend (of the same sex) who will be their yes man. As “recently” and “not-so-recently” single girls (and boys” will want to escape their reality for a little bit, or even do something that is unconventional for them so they can get away.

    Yes, we all need a yes man. I guess you could equate that to a wingman but wingpeople help you get game. Yes People are game to any adventure and is readily available when you need them. They support you, and help you take your mind of things. You might say “That’s what bestfriends are for.” Well, I beg to differ. Sometimes, having known someone for a long time is a drag to have as a yes man. They know you very well, morality issues ensue.. and spontaneity, adventure and the exploration of the unknown goes out the window.

    Yes people are the fuck buddies of relationships. You share fun time together, but you don’t have to worry about holding their hands and tiptoeing around their emotions. There is no deep, emotional commitment involved.

    A yes man should have little to no inhibitions, have an awesome sense of adventure, can differentiate right from wrong YET justify the wrongness of an action to be committed so as not to make you feel bad, and will not let you go home with a douche.

    A yes man should also have, at the very least, a sense of responsibility to look out for your well being and not get distracted and pry his/her attention away from you. Otherwise, you’re going home with a douche.

    Yes people are not used in a demeaning manner. In fact, they should be regarded with so much appreciation for being readily available to meet your temporary needs. I am proud to say that I have a yes man. And I will readily be a yes man to a friend (or semi friend) in need.

    The world will be a better place if everyone has a yes man.

Day 18: The Person That You Wish You Could Be

Dear J.,

    Hey, it’s me again. Sorry if I keep coming back to my old self. I’m just being really nostalgic. Reminiscent of the days when you didn’t have a care in the world, when the only thing you knew how to be was you. The days when there were no labels. You were not single, a girlfriend, an ex-girlfriend. You were just you.

    I don’t ever wish for you to be a different person. I look at the person staring at me in the mirror every day and I see every scar, every pain, every teardrop, smile, every heartbreak and suffering, every sadness and happiness and achievement and success and it looks beautiful.

    I only wish for you to rekindle the fire inside of you that most people envied and liked about you.

I am who I am and I like it.

Growing Up and Growing Old,
Jaja

Day 17: Someone From Your Childhood

Dear L.,

    Hi bestfriend!! You’ve been my bestfriend back home since we were in first grade. I’m so glad we rode the same bus. We’ve had our share of drifting apart when we were growing up but I guess true friendship brings people back in spite of life. I wish we talked more. With all the technology nowadays, not to mention the endless arrays of online activities and forms of communication. We need to catch up big time!! yay for 20 years of being friends!!

Bus 22 and Pancit Canton,
Jaja

Day 16: Someone That’s Not In Your State/Country

Dear H.,

    Technically, you live here. But your little Indian punk ass decided to go chase a girl who lives in the Philippines!! Although I give you a hard time about being careful because you might get kidnapped, I actually commend you man.

    You’ve known this girl for two weeks, spent a quality memorable and happy one week with her before she went back home. You took charge of your life and you made this summer your best summer ever.

    Just between you and me (..and the rest of the Tumblworld), I think it’s very exciting and romantic. I’m an incurable hopeless romantic. And even though our others friends straight out gave you a hard time, I am soooo happy for you. If this do not end up the way you wanted it to, at least you had one heck adventure of a lifetime, right? Not everyone can say that. Your American born Indian punk ass is frollicking in the polluted and congested city of Manila.. my playground, my hometown. I’ve never been more jealous!! Haha!!

    I hope you are indeed having the time of your life. I can’t wait for you to come back and tell all your stories.. Don’t forget to buy me something!

From USA to the P.I.,
Jaja

Day 15: The Person You Miss The Most

 Dear Jaja,

   You used to be so ambitious. And stubborn. And driven. And just plain stubborn. What happened to you? So what if you’ve been through a lot in the past five years. Remember who you were back home? When you were so carefree and outgoing and living the attitude of a rockstar? I miss that. Remember when you were a stranger in a strange land that is called United States of America? You we re a blank slate, an empty canvass.. and you painted your life as you see fit. I miss that.

    I miss the Rockstar Jaja. Please come back.

Crazy, Sexy, Cool,
Jaja

Day 14: Someone You’ve Drifted Away From

Dear K.,

    I miss being bestfriends with you. I wish things were different.


Dear T.,

    I don’t really know what happened. First, we were having a blast riding to school together. Then, you became one of the popular kids, being in the school’s honor society. Suddenly, I found myself giving you rides. I’m glad we’re trying to be friends again though.


Dear G.,
    I’m sorry I drifted away like that. I couldn’t stand seeing my two guy friends being estranged because of you.


Dear D.,

    I’ll always have your back. I promise.


Friends and Bestfriends Adrift,
Jaja

Day 13: Someone You Wish Could Forgive You

Dear Papa,

   I know I’m not the daughter you wished you had. I didn’t go into nursing, I didn’t exactly follow your rules. I gave you stress all the time. And on top of that, I have not spoken a word to you in the last five years. You worked hard for me and my sister, and now that I’m have a life better than what I had in back home, I pushed you away. I hope it’s not too late. I’m sorry.

Your firstborn,
Jaja

Day 12: The Person You Hate Most/Caused You A Lot Of Pain

[disclaimer]
    People I hate and people that caused me pain are two different groups. Yes, people.. and yes, groups. My mantra these past couple of weeks (which I plan to keep) is "Out of sight, out of mind." To rephrase that, denial stage. but I don't care. I'm on a natural high right now and I want it to stay that way. I am not bringing negative feelings out. I fail the exercise. Be it. This is me being a coward. =/

Day 11: A Deceased Person You Wish You Could Talk To

Dear N.,

    Hey big guy, how’s heaven? I miss you, man! I miss our random late night SteakNShale adventures in pjs and chucks, our random late night eggroll cravings to chinatown, when you bother me and make me laugh at the same time. Once in a while, you cross my mind when something good happens to me.. I can only see that as you’re the one who made it happen. Like that one time when I tweeted and wrote on my FB status that i want to have a good day and smile today.. THEE THINGS made me smile that day, and then when I was recalling them in my head that night, you crossed my mind. For sure that was you, right?

    You left a lot of people here on earth, Nick. You were such a good guy. Did I realize that too late? Maybe. We didn’t even become good friends until the beginning of the summer. You managed to cheer me up and distract me when I was going through a hard time with my breakup. You listened and related to me and you let me talk your ear off.

    I miss you and I wish soooo badly you’re still around, so we can go to Chicago one more time, and go to JB’s one more time, and gp bug the server at SteakNShake one more time (Braulio’s the name right?)
    But you’re in a better place now. No suffering, that’s fasho. God wanted you home early, but you knew what that meant. Your purpose here on earth is done. You’ve done what God intended for you to do and you had to go home. I know you’re taking care of me and all the other important people in your life. How else could I have been having such an awesome time with awesome people these past few weeks.

    It’s hasn’t even been two months, Nick. But you’re already doing your job as our guardian angel. :D

Eggrolls and iPods,
Jaja