I couldn't sleep so I decided to catch up on my Psych episodes. The episode "One, Maybe Two Ways Out" made me cry. Not so much as the concept of the episode. More like the Juliet-Shawn romance.
All throughout the whole series, Shawn has always had a special spot for Juliet. He's always loved her but she's always been.. unattainable, unreachable. They were never in the same page. This episode was not that different. Talk about tension man.
Anyway, in this particular episode, Shawn was opening up to Gus about his feelings for Juliet. He wants her to be happy, but he wants to be happy too. And he can't just be happy without Jules. That the whole time he had this "connection" with the spy lady, all he could think of was Jules. The whole time they were talking, Shawn must've forgotten that he was wired and that Jules was in the surveillance van listening. Everything clicked for Juliet and she realized that she did have this strong feelings for Shawn all along. At the end of the episode, Shawn was telling Jules to have fun on her vacation with her "boyfriend" because that's what you should do when you're on vacation.. enjoy it with someone that makes you happy. While Shawn was rambling on and on, Jules couldn't hold back anymore and she leaned in to give Shawn a long passionate kiss. Then of course, "boyfriend" showed up and there it is.
Did I mention I'm a sucker for such things? I've been in love. Once. And I went on trips and vacations and adventure with the person that made me laugh. Did it do me any good? I hope so. But I had my heart broken, and at times I think that all those good times are nothing compared to the pain that I went through. I lost bestfriend, which was the biggest deal of all. But do I give up and say, "Oh, Janis. Let it go. Don't ever love again. It doesn't exist. It's just an unreachable idea. You can be as close to it as possible, but you'll never really get there."
I have to admit.. sometimes I get to thinking that maybe people only get one chance. I got mine, adios, peace out. But I'm too scared to think that I will die without loving and being loved in return. I'd have notions that I should just give up trying to look for love because the first time it happened? I was in deep sh** that I thought I can never pick up the pieces. Right now, I'm walking around with the pieces in my pocket. I've slowly let people make me smile again. I want someone who will accept me for who I am, broken pieces and all. Maybe, they'll even have the patience to put me back together.
I know God has something big for me. I just know it.
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