Oh Hello Good Dream

So I'm kind of in a good mood this morning, because I just had a really wonderful dream. And I will not stop reiterating it. I actually feel giddy, haha. I'd share what my dream was, but I know it'll sound just ridiculous to everybody else. Let's just say it was -of course- about tF.

Anyway, long story short, I had an awesome dream and that's it. Good Frickin' Morning. \^o^/

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In other news, the last week at work have been REALLY stressful. The only way to describe it is that I'm in job position limbo. I'm already doing the work of my "new job" but I just can't quite leave my old position behind. Since none of the new girls can work in the morning, I have to do my new job in my old desk so I can do BOTH jobs. The work load of the new job is not what stresses me out, I like it actually.

It's just that, I honestly believe that I think I have undiagnosed ADD.. well maybe. When I do my new job, I have to focus really hard and tune everybody out so I don't mess up. There's a lot of numbers and paperworks and all that stuff I have to take care of. BUT, when I'm still working the old job, I have to stop every five minutes (sometimes not even) so I can answer the phone, transfer the call, page someone, take care of a customer, blah blah blah. And when that happens, I have to refocus to continue what I was previously doing. AAAAND I really have a hard time refocusing. I'm always like, "Where was I?", "What was I doing again?", "Wait, I lost my place."

I gotta say, I've gotten really good with crying on the inside. You know, like, you cry coz you're frustrated but you literally show no tears. But apparently, I shouldn't complain because this is what I've wanted. Yes. But No. I don't want to hate my job, and the people I work with because I ACTUALLY love my job and the people I work with. And that's saying something, because most of the time, you get either or. Not both. And I've had a bajillion jobs so I know for a fact that I really do want to stay in this company.

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In other OTHER news, I went to a wedding over the weekend. It was soooo pretty!! It was a small wedding, just family and friends. But really, who am I to say it's a small wedding. As far as weddings go, I've only been to two, and the first one I was a bridesmaid in a wedding party of 21 (pshyea no joke, and no that doesn't include the godparents and such), and there were 250 guests.

Anyway, after seeing my friend's wedding, I've decided it's not the amount of people or the lavishness of the ceremony/reception that makes a beautiful wedding. It's the spirit of it. The essence, the execution, the people. Anyway, my friend's wedding, like I said was beautiful. The groom and his men were wearing white tuxes, the Tiffany blue really popped out against the white and silver, the music they played during cocktail hour was classy and elegant, and the couple's first dance was just frickin' lovely and adorable. Oh and the Dj was hella funny too, BUT he has to go back to DJ-ing school because the way he mixed songs was ATROCIOUS. Of course, I held my composure as they were doing the Father-Daughter dance, touchy subject for me that's why.

Oh, did I mention the open bar? Haha.

photocredit: KaterinaBeth

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Tuesday came and went. But Prime Factor and I didn't hang out. So we just took a raincheck to do lunch and hang out since there was no time coz he had a deal coming in after he gets out of work so he had to stay around. Instead, he texted me and told me he'll come visit me for a couple of hours at work. Unfortunately for me, I can only do 30 minutes of those two hours coz I'm not really allowed to leave my desk for ANY social hour.

Then I went out to dinner with MommyDee and PFN (acronym meaning withheld as it's just between Prime Factor and me (I?) ). After a free dinner, courtesy of the wonderful MommyDee, we checked out t he new Walmart and got dropped off home.

Prime Factor and I had another Application Trial Session. Last time, we did Skype, Tango, and Qik Chat, We compared notes and which was the best. We couldn't work the camera on Skype, we couldn't work Qik Chat AT ALL, and Tango had good voice quality but the camera would freeze here and there. Last night we tried TikL, which is like the smartphone app version of Nextel's PTT (push to talk, yo), or your average walkie talkie. It was a fun way to communicate, as long as you remember to hold the phone at least 3 inches away from your pie-hole. And it's not for an actual serious heart to heart conversation. It's pretty much like twitter, but with voice.

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And I guess that's that for now. Sorry for the long blog entry, but did I mention I had a really awesome dream? Haha. That's probably why I got so motivated to recap the last week of my life. 

That's it for now, I gotta get ready for work. :)

Party Purgatory

Last night, I went out with a few friends to Naperville. We were supposed to go to Chicago but there were some changes in plans. Anyway, that's not the point. Haha. As I was getting ready for the night. I had that voice in the back of my head telling me that I'm getting too old for this crazy party nightlife scene. I should start getting over the skimpy dresses and high heels. I need to get over this phase. I actually get convinced when I have these internal battles. But when I'm on the dance floor and getting in my zone dancing the night away, it just feels good you know? Drinks here and there and just doing my thing. A part of me tells me I need to grow up, but another part of me is asking, "What if it's me?" What if this is a part of me just like people are photographers and mothers and knitters and all that. Ugh. It gets confusing sometimes.

One Month's Worth of Epiphany

First off, I need to blog more. It obviously keeps me sane.

• I've been working really great hours at my job, and I'm loving it! I actually thought it was awesome I had to work 3 9-hour days that one week. Uh-oh. Does this mean I'm starting to become a workaholic? I don't mind it by the way, because I love my job (as meager my wages are), and the people are really awesome. I like the fact that only a handful of women work there. No drama.

• My friend N and I have been having a blast going out every weekend for more almost two months now. It is frickin' awesome! We go to sketchy dance clubs, local bars, the city, gay clubs, 24hour diners, club openings, birthday parties. It is such a blast! Plus it's the ultimate distraction. It's starting to make my way into my pockets but I guess it's all good. I told him that we're starting to be like Will and Grace.. a sexless marriage. Haha.

• As much as I just LOVE going out and having fun, whenever I come home, I can't help but feel a little bit scared. While some people my age are starting to look towards the direction of settling down, I feel like I'm nowhere near that goal. People around me tell me that I'm perfectly fine where I am at in my life. Enjoy it while it lasts, I'm still young. I'm just scared. I feel like, this going out part of me is always gonna be me. Half of me tells me that it's okay because it's who I am, but the other half is guilty doing it, that I probably should outgrow this phase already. Then I think about wishing that one day, I'd wake up and I'd grow out of it, and it scares me even more. The way that I live now is the way that I know how to live. That probably sounds confusing, but it makes sense to me. I can't let go of something that's me, but I do wanna settle down someday, have kids, all that crap. Haha. I'm torn.

• N invited me to a coworker's birthday party, and I thought I'd feel out of place and shy (yes, I'm super shy around strangers). But this crows was a blast to hang out with! They were all in there early- to mid-thirties, so they're young enough to still have fun but also old enough to know better. I actually, couldn't wait to be around their age (although of course I just wanna be young forever haha) and be as awesome as they are. I read somewhere before, thirty is the new twenty. And it's so true. I agree 100%. I wish that my friends now will still be my friends when I'm thirty. Then life will be a blast.

J, if we end up being roommates, we're not going out every night, right? -N.

• In contrast, I went to yet another college-town party last night with my friend T. The first college-town party T invited me to was so dumb and stupid and reckless and pretty much pointless.. not to mention they were serving Keystone Light, for crying out loud. People were playing beer pong with a door propped on bar stools, smell of weed or whatever in the air, teenagers nursing their drinks of choice: shots, handles, cheap beer. A four-bedroom student housing had AT LEAST 30 in there. This time around, the place was A LOT more mellow, obviously 21 and over, and not as dumb. I was hesitant to go because of my previous experience, but I wanted to do it for my friend 'coz she's my yes-man, and I should be her yes-man too. :)

• I need to conquer my top priorities right now: fixing my car up, and getting a second job. I'm crossing my fingers that everything else will fall into place afterwards. So far life has been a blast, and I thank my friends, my family, and of course My Homie Up Top for that. :))