Bring It On, Life.

The last couple of weeks have been really packed with life and lessons for me. I don't even know where to start. Let me try..

• My car had died in the middle of the road late one night and I was trying to figure out what to do when two dudes pulled over to the side and offered to help me. My first thought was, "Holy crap, this is a Law and Order SVU waiting to happen!! Run!!". But after a couple of minutes, something just came over me and my mind pretty much just went "I will leave it all up to God. Whatever happens, happens." Afther they've helped me push my car to an empty parking lot, they left while i waited for my roommates to rescue me. I felt guilty I judged those two guys. With their towering heights, bulky built, baggy clothes and raggedy car, I couldn't help but get scared. I mean, I've seen ALL SVU episodes to know that the world is a cruel, cruel world.
• In a span of less than 24 hours, I have managed to slice my finger (with a knife) and my heel (with a broken glass). Mind you, both cuts were I'd say 3cms long and 3/4 of a cm deep. Just saying.
• I got a job interview and they actually offered me the job so yay for me!
• A friend passed away and I attended his service a week after. I was shocked to the point that I refused to accept how it happened, why it happened. But things happened throughout the week that made it easier for me. I think Matt helped.
• During the funeral service, I've seen people I haven't seen in such a long time. Some I've become estranged to, some I've missed more than others. Altogether, I've convinced myself that I should, in one way or another, try annd fix (and maintain) these relationships because you never know when it's gonna be too late. It may be a cliche, but it's true.
• We are hiring two positions at work and I'm going to be training them!! I feel that seniority coming in, and I'm kinda excited. Of course, all advancements have responsibilities attached to them. I'm kinda nervous because I'm just not good with failure. But bottomline is, I'm already 26 years old, and even though people say I'm still young and there's still time, I have no time to redo my life. I can't go back to the beginning. Onward-bound ho!
• I've noticed that I'm starting to become more comfortable about myself. My personality, my body, my strengths and weaknesses. Even this whole single status thing doesn't bother me as much anymore. Something came over me and I don't know what, but I'm very thankful for it.

I think that is it for now. I'm about to run errands and maybe I'll think of something else to write about. Peace out!

With Open Arms

I think I'm ready to embrace life. If you care to hear me out, then read on. Otherwise, don't mind me, if you know me well enough, I get these "High On Life" moods here and there so I try to take advantage of them and write down my positivity so I can read them again when I'm down.

Anyway, moving on.

I'm ready to move on to bigger and better things. Whether it's to replace old feelings, to forget about the past. I'm just so darn tootin' tired of this life that I wanna move on. I'm constantly struggling and fighting to be happy and I'm just ready to Just Be Happy.

I have amazing friends that will always be there for me. I've gained new friends that I'm just so happy about. I've spend my summer really well this year. All I need is someone to share my happiness and love with, but I know God has someone for me, I just have to wait REAAAALLLLLYYYY patiently for that person. I know it's gonna be worth it. I just have to keep doing what I'm good at, eliminate my shortcomings and weaknesses, and just go on. Keep fighting. I'm 26 years old. I don't want to be the last to get married, to be the oldest mom in a Parents-Teachers meeting. I wanna be a young urban professional.

And I'ma do just that.

One Month's Worth of Epiphany

First off, I need to blog more. It obviously keeps me sane.

• I've been working really great hours at my job, and I'm loving it! I actually thought it was awesome I had to work 3 9-hour days that one week. Uh-oh. Does this mean I'm starting to become a workaholic? I don't mind it by the way, because I love my job (as meager my wages are), and the people are really awesome. I like the fact that only a handful of women work there. No drama.

• My friend N and I have been having a blast going out every weekend for more almost two months now. It is frickin' awesome! We go to sketchy dance clubs, local bars, the city, gay clubs, 24hour diners, club openings, birthday parties. It is such a blast! Plus it's the ultimate distraction. It's starting to make my way into my pockets but I guess it's all good. I told him that we're starting to be like Will and Grace.. a sexless marriage. Haha.

• As much as I just LOVE going out and having fun, whenever I come home, I can't help but feel a little bit scared. While some people my age are starting to look towards the direction of settling down, I feel like I'm nowhere near that goal. People around me tell me that I'm perfectly fine where I am at in my life. Enjoy it while it lasts, I'm still young. I'm just scared. I feel like, this going out part of me is always gonna be me. Half of me tells me that it's okay because it's who I am, but the other half is guilty doing it, that I probably should outgrow this phase already. Then I think about wishing that one day, I'd wake up and I'd grow out of it, and it scares me even more. The way that I live now is the way that I know how to live. That probably sounds confusing, but it makes sense to me. I can't let go of something that's me, but I do wanna settle down someday, have kids, all that crap. Haha. I'm torn.

• N invited me to a coworker's birthday party, and I thought I'd feel out of place and shy (yes, I'm super shy around strangers). But this crows was a blast to hang out with! They were all in there early- to mid-thirties, so they're young enough to still have fun but also old enough to know better. I actually, couldn't wait to be around their age (although of course I just wanna be young forever haha) and be as awesome as they are. I read somewhere before, thirty is the new twenty. And it's so true. I agree 100%. I wish that my friends now will still be my friends when I'm thirty. Then life will be a blast.

J, if we end up being roommates, we're not going out every night, right? -N.

• In contrast, I went to yet another college-town party last night with my friend T. The first college-town party T invited me to was so dumb and stupid and reckless and pretty much pointless.. not to mention they were serving Keystone Light, for crying out loud. People were playing beer pong with a door propped on bar stools, smell of weed or whatever in the air, teenagers nursing their drinks of choice: shots, handles, cheap beer. A four-bedroom student housing had AT LEAST 30 in there. This time around, the place was A LOT more mellow, obviously 21 and over, and not as dumb. I was hesitant to go because of my previous experience, but I wanted to do it for my friend 'coz she's my yes-man, and I should be her yes-man too. :)

• I need to conquer my top priorities right now: fixing my car up, and getting a second job. I'm crossing my fingers that everything else will fall into place afterwards. So far life has been a blast, and I thank my friends, my family, and of course My Homie Up Top for that. :))

Quick Blog

My "home" situation has not been comfortable lately, and half the time I'm wishing I can't wait to move out. Check out my rant here.

Today is Chicago's Annual Gay Pride Parade!! And pardon my ignorance and I stand corrected for any wrong info.. but didn't NY pass same sex marriage in the last two days or something? It sure will be an even bigger party today at the parade! :)

The next few weekends are going to be really exciting!!

• Springfield day trip to visit the Lincoln Museum, and Lincoln's Tomb
• Summerfest
• Taste of Chicago
• Fourth of July
• Six Flags

Not to mention, I'm getting more hours at work! :))

For now, I should start getting ready for my busy day ahead.